WHAT SHOULD BE

this picture is the screen saver on my phone. Everytime I reach to call,
email or text someone, I see it. It's mezmorizing to me and I think if I
had the time I could stare at it for hours. For me, it captures the
joy and blessing my children are to me. For them, it captures the joy
of childhood.

A couple weeks ago I got busted staring at this picture. My Shelter co-
leader said let me see those kids. She stared at it for awhile and
commented at how my kiddos looked so happy. I responded by saying
"this is what childhood should be." children should grow up in a
loving home. They should laugh, be care free and joyful. The women
that would be joining us in the room later that evening didn't get to
experience that as children. Sure there may have been moments but
nothing like what it should be or should have been.

There are so many of us out there who never got to experience what
should be. So many children right now, next door, or half way across
the world who aren't experiencing what should be. Neglected, abused,
poverty stricken, starved, forced into slavery, fatherless, orphaned,
forgotten and abandoned, they are out there and one may even be you.

Again I am struck by the question, how am I to respond? I am grieved
that their are so many children out there that aren't experiencing
what should be. I am grieved for myself and the countless numbers of
other adults who also didn't get to experience what should be.

I am also awed over a great God. A God so great that He took all the
what should NOT have been's and conquered them while nailed to a tree.
A God who heals the loss experienced by those who missed out on what
should been's. I am awed and thankful for a God who is sovereign over
all and can restore all.

ALL OVER THE PLACE

27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

james 1:27 has been on the hearts and the minds of les and i a lot lately. what we once easily took for granted without a second thought is becoming harder and harder to ignore. we live in an incredible amount of excess while there are adults and children around the world starving. i can hardly eat a pregnant pint of ice cream without thinking about the kids who not only have never eaten ice cream in their lives but those that are dying or have died because of lack of food.

I used to easily dismiss the verses like Luke 6:24 "But woe to you who are rich, for you are receiving your comfort in full." In American standards the Brown Family is nowhere near the rich mark. Whew! But hold up, in context of the world we are filthy rich. We live in a palace in comparison to others around the world. My flesh wants to focus on the World Vision child we are sponsoring and move on to happier things. We're not rich remember? I just can't do it. I don't know if I'll ever be content continuing to live this lifestyle and get choked out by the weeds of comfort. People are dying while I eat that pint of ice cream. Dying. If I'm truly living out the life Christ has called me to, I shouldn't be able to turn my head and look the other way.

Where am I going with all of this? I don't know. What I do know is that God is flipping me completely upside down. I'm tired of THINKING of things to do I'm ready to shut-up and DO!

I originally meant to write about the video below and got off on a tangent. This is how flipped over backwards I feel. I can't get this video out of my mind. It doesn't help that Abbie wants to watch it over and over again. I can't keep Africa out of my mind. Les can't keep Africa out of his mind. Again I have no idea what all this means exactly. I do know that as I was asking God how am I supposed to respond to this today the answer was very clear. I look at the kids on this video and weep every time because they are so precious to God. So often I get wrapped up in getting my agenda done, or in my exhaustion or quite frankly my selfishness and I fail to treat MY own children as the precious blessing that they are. To love is to die and pregnancy is NOT an excuse not to do that on a daily basis.

I'm hoping all the things roaming around in my head will soon be able to be written in coherent words in a post but for now I apologize for being all over the place. For now I hope you will not only watch this video I hope you will be changed.

BEAR WITH ME PLEASE

I'm sorry to say that this time around there will be no Bear Brown.
Brown, Bear will have to wait. In three or so months we'll be excited
to meet Jeremiah Joshua Brown. This little guy has no idea what he is
in for joining this silly family.

Sent from my iPhone

Father's Day 2009

Abbie and Paul making Daddy's card.

JUDGE NOT

this evening we kicked off les's 42nd year of life at the Ranger's
Stadium. Tonight back at home, reflecting on the day, God brought to
light something I'm not proud of. I was not grieved by the least bit
tonight that those sitting around me and those all around the stadium
do not know Jesus. Instead I watched a guy with a cigarette in his
hand yelling down to a friend in the bullpen. I sat there wondering
how many more times he was going to say "for reals" and if he was
going to light that cig up. A few moments later I glanced across the
stands to watch a woman with a beer in her hand try to start the wave.
The comment "what you really need is another beer" not only went
across my mind it came out if my mouth.

The reality is that I'm only a few short steps away from getting
loaded at a game myself. I wasn't the one who rescued myself from a
life of self destruction, Jesus did. I didn't choose to follow whole
heartedly after Christ on my own, God pursued me first.

My heart should break for those around who don't know this Jesus who
saves and redeems. I don't mean this in a prideful, I have all the
answers and you don't kinda way. Some people just scream that they are
lost and searching for something more. You can see the lonliness in
their eyes if you search deep enough. This is what should grieve my
heart. It grieves me now to think my mouth would so readily and easily
open to cast judgement on another brother or sister made in Christ's
image, instead of opening to share the hope there is in Jesus.

Lord may you grow me to be the kind of woman who would bless those
with my words not curse them. My I desire what you desire. May my
knowledge and love of you grow more and more so that my mouth cannot
contain the hope and joy that can be found in only you with others!