Tuesday, July 04, 2017

Awesome At Settling Goals

1. Obviously my detachment from the internet is still in the works.

2. I saw a friend's tweet via email and I watched it and then fell into a wonderfully refreshing wormhole called Camille Paglia. She's an atheist, a lesbian and a scholar and she's refreshing. It does grief my heart that she is for filled up in nature and yet fails to see why her stances are grounded in the Lord and worships the created rather than the Creator. I'm very intrigued by her. Want to read her newest book.

3. Fourth spent with new friends. My head is still spinning a bit as I process all the stories. I love people's stories. Love love love them. BUT pained by how crushed we all are by the fall. BUT so encouraged that God is greater than the pain, that He's moving among His people, and that one day He will come back. Really I think I have too many thinks for words.

4. Love that I'm adopted. Chosen. I don't know why but I'm thankful.

5. Drank a second cup of coffee after 12pm. I'm going to be up forever yet sweet Froggy Pants is restless so I'm sentenced to a dark room. Will try to put pen to paper by the flickering glow of an iPhone.


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Sunday, July 02, 2017

Holy MTHFR!!!

1. Obviously I'm doing lovely on my media fast. It's going to happen for 30 days BUT!

2. Home with strep butt. I was researching strep again. I'm so torn on antibiotics for strep especially considering thinking most of us have MTHFR. Supposedly amoxicillin is a no no for MTHFR folks. I need to get us all tested but $200 a pop adds up. Anyway, I think I've landed on having our bodies fight strep for three days then getting Meds. My grandpa had heart issues and for all I know could have been caused by RHD and hubs family also has history of heart stuff not caused by RHD. It's the best of both worlds for me. Think I'm going to bring our whole dang family in for strep testing but might see if we can get Meds called in today so we can be on drugs 24hrs. Somebody has to be a carrier and I think there might be a toddler whose butt might be doing just that. I need to write a book.

3. In looking up strep again ran across PANDAS again. Looked it up because our sweet kiddo has had an increase in anxiety lately. It's getting worse but PANDAS doesn't fit. But I was brace and finally looked up OCD. Dead ringer. Looking on my childhood and my family I can almost put money on two people in my family having it as well based on my own actual experiences and from stories I heard. And guess what? MTHFR and OCD are BFFs. We need to find out what mutations we have but on my extended family side we have like everything. It explains LOTS and LOTS! So in the meantime I can supplement us all as if we have it. And we can be team brown to eat much better and fight the mutation that way. Feel empowered and excited. I do need to make a neuro appt for one of my kiddos and going to try to get another into a dr. House kind of pediatrician. I'm fine with medicating my children who need it but I want to exhaust all my options first. All the dots. Well maybe not all the dots but dots are connecting. Feels very much like a EUREKA moment.

4. Since I'm writing this mainly for myself as a record I've seen some improvement with my diagnosed ADHD kid using homeopathy. I started using Baryata Carb. twice a day and noticing a difference in focus. Impulsivity is still off the charts but hey something is working and that's encouraging.

5. Overall I feel like the Lord is answering prayer. He's lighting our path and I am so very thankful. He is good.

6. Pen to paper is pretty amazing. Wrote lots yesterday and some this AM. Feel like there is lots of words that want to come. I feel almost compelled to write. Not sure why but we'll see what happens.

7. Going to get this internet thing figured out and mainly I just want it off my phone but thankful today to be able to nurse and try to find answers.

8. Francis Chans article floating around did my heart so very good. Even prior to our latest church crazy almost three years ago now hubs and I had some of those conversations. Makes me feel 1. Less jaded or reassures me I'm not wallowing in bitterness for thinking this way and 2. Gives me hope for the church as a whole. I really do think home church is where we are all going to end up as anyway either by choice or not. Home church can be gritty and man do I like gritty.

9. So many on my heart. Crazy crazy grateful today for so so much.


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Saturday, July 01, 2017

Day One: FAIL

Not planning ahead often leads to failure. Unfortunately, I have just enough success winging it that it's still really hard to get ahead of the curve and plan. Oddly enough my failure revolved mostly around trying to plan. It's the first of the month so trying to get my calendar ducks in a row. I've been behind entering dates on my paper calendar so trying to get everything written down I squirreled big time. So deleting email and Safari off my phone to make it easier to not forget or to squirrel. I'm never on a computer. Like maybe ten times a year so this will be interesting. I do think having to get on an actual computer for things will be a pita at first but in the long game will be best. I'm hoping I never want to go back. This is my rage against the machine.

I will read out of my paper bible and put real pen to paper. Exciting times. Still trying to figure all this out. Think we are going to kick the tv to the curb too. We don't watch a ton and we're definitely not a tv everyday kinda family but I know I do use it as a crutch. Thinking through this though bc we have some projects we want to knock out this month while bigs are at VBS and littles watching the glowing babysitter would be super helpful. Oy! Being intentional and not using crutches is hard.


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Friday, June 30, 2017

So Long, Farewell Auf Wiedersehen, Adieu

1. Signing off for a month, I think. Really want to put pen to paper but I'm not sure how realistic that's going to be on a daily basis. We shall see.

2. More strep. Whoop! Is it strep? Is it mono? Is it the RPL allergy? Who knows. No fevers as of yet. I think my boy might have one but ibuprofen is probably keeping it at bay. For now, we are under the 100.4 mark. I tried to get him to take raw garlic and that was a mistake. This is the kid that changed my mind about making my kids take at least a bite of everything or as many bites as their age. He simply can't do it without unpleasantries that back fire onto the table. Overall I think his body is fighting it better than the last round. Here's the interesting part. Before his throat ever hurt his neck and back got sore as if he slept funny. If I'm remembering correctly that happened last time too. So weird.

3. Learning more and more that compassion works so much better than anything else with my kiddos. They are all challenging in their own ways but for all of them really listening and have empathy even in their over the top emotions works the best. Truly how do I feel when people invalidate my own feelings, thoughts or struggles? Doy! Duh! Der! I have children not miniature sized adults.

4. Choice is the other thing that I often miss out on giving my kids. It's not free reign to do whatever you want but it comes with choice. Most of us want options. Do you want me to go with you to apologize to your teacher for being rude or do you want me to drive home and you can come back with your dad and do it? It's a lovely beautiful thing.

5. The Princess slayed that bastard anxiety dragon tonight. I thank God for all the wins big and small that we get.

6."I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose."
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭2:21‬ ‭ESV‬‬


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Thursday, June 29, 2017

Home Again. Home Again. Jig Jiggity Jig!

1. My Best Beloved is home again! I would do a jig jiggity jig if I wasn't so cotton pickin tired.

2. Two of mine complaining of sore throats again. No fevers so that's good, I guess. Nobody seems crazy ill but the Bitty Kitty struggled hard today. Poor sweet little thing is so exhausted.

3. Parenting is hard. Super de duper hard. It's the best kinda hard there is and worth it but hard none the less.

4. Then you get parenting moments when your kids perform for the family, which is always a favorite of mine, and it's so hysterical that it makes the hard moments of the day worth it.

5. Gotta get off the gluten and dairy again. It feels lame but it's really hard bc it requires more planning. BUT need to do that anyway. I got this! Not really but we got this for all of us!

6. Ditching the internets soon. That includes this for a month. Your inboxes are already breathing a sigh of relief. Looking forward to trying to figure some things out next month. Hurray to VBS and other such wonderful things.

7. Going to spend my time soaking in the Pauline Letters and praying through the psalms. I've never been a meditator so would like to start slowing down the squirrel rave enough to try to slow things down. Want to start my day with the Common Book of prayer as well. I've been a prideful twit and written off liturgy as dry and stuffy and old school. It's so rich though. The more I learn about it the more I love the beauty of a purpose for everything and everything for the purpose of pointing to the cross.

8. Thankful for the Body of Christ. We are one interesting group of total and complete ragamuffins who He loves more than we could imagine.


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