Thursday, March 23, 2006


as i'm sitting here writing this, abbie is eating and therefore i'm one handed. it's amazing how you quickly learn how to adapt to doing things with one hand as a parent.

overall, parenthood has been awesome. i've struggled with a bit of the baby blues and anxiety of being a decent mom but other than that having a lttle munchkin around is amazing. i do sometimes miss the ease at which i could get up and leave the house before having abbie. there are also some days when she eats so much i'm convinced my nipples will fall off but when i pick her up and she rips a big one and stares at me with her beautiful blue eyes it makes the change and adjustment all worth it. i'm even starting to get a kick out of the times she pees and poos on me.

well, i thought i had a minute to write but abbie is not too excited that she has to share one of my hands with a computer. man, i can't believe how much i love this little girl!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006


it's been awhile since i've written. the last few weeks of pregnancy were an emotional roller coaster and in fear of writing one diarreha dump after another i choose not to write at all. if you thought the last post was bad what i would have written would have been a thousand times worse.

during this whole pregnancy i've wrestled with God like crazy. read the story of jacob wrestling with God in the bible and my match with God was a lot bloodier. i had a limp, a gimp, two black eyes and a very fat lip before i would finally surrender. a few days after i waved the white flag my beautiful little girl Abbie Jordan Brown came into the world.

all the the fears i had disappeared and i finally understood what everyone including God was trying to tell me. there is nothing more incredible than being a parent. there are no words to describe the joy that little Abbie has brought into my life. i would give up give up or sacrifice anything in order to honor God by being the best mommie i can possibly be.

girls don't get screwed, they are incredibly blessed! all the pregnancy chaos was worth it. the pain of labor worth it. call me a freak but i think the pain of going through child birth connected me more to abbie. even though going through labor pains was the worst pain i've ever felt, after giving birth naturally i would never use an epidural. during the worst part of the pain i would probably disagree since i clearly remember thinking "why am i so f'ing crazy!? why in the hell did i want to have a natural child birth!!" once i saw my cute little girl all those thoughts faded away.

speaking of cute girls i need to run, somebodys hungry.