Tuesday, June 20, 2006


i probably just wrote the nastiest email i've ever written. there's a teeny tiny part of me that feels guilty but i have to be honest it feels so freaking good. i am such a stuffer. stuff, stuff, stuff that's all i do. not anymore, i'm entering a new phase of not holding back. if you are going to act like an ass then watch out because there will be no grace for the time being.

i've always been too much on the grace side. i need to learn how to add good ole truth in there sometimes. i fear swinging too far the other way but for this moment in time i don't really care. do0n't get me wrong either i'm prefectly aware that i can be a major ass too.

Monday, June 19, 2006


i was hoping to escape the evil grasps of post pardum depression but it looks like i'm not so lucky this time around. i keep trying to fight it but i'm so stinking tired. the worst part of it is i'm starting to wonder if i've ever heard God's call on my life or if i've just been fooling myself the last several years. there's a part of me that knows this isn't true and this too shall pass and yet anpther part that is so tired of struggling.

it sucks feeling this way when i know there are so many reasons i should be grateful for all the blessings God has given me.