Thursday, January 25, 2007

Dang Contraption Doesn't Work!

Abbie's First Christmas Present
Originally uploaded by TheRoadLesTravels.

i was hoping this modern day torture device would keep abbie from crawling or walking for a very long time. not so much. after months of commando crawling abbie finally mastered the traditional crawl today. by the way she's been cruising and the way she cries with frustration at wanting to walk unassisted, i'm sure she'll be running by the time her brother gets here. i sure hope her brother gets use out of this thing. abbie made it loud and clear today that the bouncy exersaucer is not nearly as exciting as motoring around to find the nearest dog toy to stick in her mouth. thanks a lot santa!

My Name Is Desirea Brown and I Am An Angry Chocoholic

this past monday les and i went to a group called celebrate recovery at our church. it's a bible based twelve step program. it's kinda strange to be going to a twelve step program since i'm not struggling with a particular addiction. i however still need to go though them and i'm so grateful that our current church offers such an amazing ministry.

the past month it's become painfully obvious that i'm not just angry over this portland ordeal but i'm just angry in general. i read the bible and i don't find peace, all i end up doing is getting angry. this anger has slowly been eating away at me. it's been robbing me of peace, joy and most of all freedom. it's killing my witness. i have become one of those crotchity christians that, guess what, make me so angry. there's nothing different about me. my anger has masked the beauty that Christ has created in me, and that, my friends, makes me angry.

i want to run and jump and sit in my Father's arms again and experience the joy and passion i once felt. i want others to see that joy and i want it to make them want to experience it too. this is why i'm going to spend the next year going through the twelve steps. i'm going to recover from my anger problem. i'm going to examine myself and find all the yucky things i'd rather not find and do the hard work it takes to be free again. i know it's not going to be easy and frankly i'm already dreading it. after just the first time of going without even digging into anything i was up for hours tossing and turning. the best things in life seem to be the hardest though.

come on 2007. this year my hope is to improve my health mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. heres to a long hard and hopefully healthy year.

Saturday, January 06, 2007


Abbie in Her Christmas Dress
Originally uploaded by TheRoadLesTravels.

i thought it was looks like this that was supposed to work only on les. WRONG! if abbie learns how to use her powers against her parents it's all over for the brown household. if paul ends up being this cute too we're all in trouble.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


this post is for all you singles who wished you were married or for those of you who struggle with loneliness. first a little background info, this year my husband and i have committed to joining the journey. the past several years i've tried different read through the bible plans that have been met with various degrees of success. this year instead of trying to fit the entire bible in one year we're taking our time and really trying to grasp what God is trying to tell us in each chapter. i know it's only day two but so far it's rocked. i've read the creation story a ton of times but have never really stopped, and i mean REALLY stopped to listen to God speak beyond the story itself. well, for all those of you who have struggled with loneliness this is what God spoke to me today.

I'm sure those of you well versed in the bible have heard this verse a thousand times "The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion for him who corresponds to him." This verse is nothing new BUT i've never really thought about it in the context of a sin free world. Adam is hanging out one on one with God and yet God understands that it's not good for man to be without a companion. I could be so far off but it seems to me that in the Christian world in some ways it is frowned upon to bring up the dreadful word "loneliness." If you are really on like donkey kong with Christ then why in the world would you be lonely. Shouldn't Christ be filling that pearly ache in all of our lives.
How many of you Christian singles out there have heard the fun saying "all you really need is God to fulfill you"? Although I do believe we should strive to get our ultimate fulfillment from God rather than from a companion, feeling lonely has no bearing on our standing with God. Adam, even though he was right there face to face with God was still looking for a companion himself. (and my anklebiter is now up so i must wrap up my normally long winded rambling) For all those singles out there who have an ache deep down to meet that companion that God created for you please stop feeling guilt for feeling loneliness. it's okay and honestly i think part of that is from God's command to "be fruitful and multiply the earth." you can't multiply without a partner. don't give up though hang on and trust that God has something good for you too. in the garden of eden God not only provided trees with good fruit he also provided trees that were pretty. check it out for yourself it's in Genesis 2:9. God has good things planned for us it's just not always on our watch. be honest with God and those around you about how you are feeling and cling to the hope and faith that God will not only fulfill your need for a companion, if you are willing to wait on Him, He will knock your socks off with the person He blesses you with.

for those of you who are just struggling with loneliness, i myself struggle with this too. a lot of times this is caused by my own doing. i struggle with trust and as a result isolate myself from people i love and who love me or keep myself for ever even experiencing that. if you are lonely ask yourself. has God placed a companion in my life (and i'm not necessarily talking about an opposite sex companion either) and if so how am i doing at cultivating that relationship? if there is no one in your life you would consider a companion pray it up and be patient. God wants good things for you.