Thursday, August 30, 2007


paul recently started eating solid food. i'm not as gung ho about getting him on solids as i was with abbie. i'm too lazy to really make a good crack at the solids right now and after smelling paul's first solid poop i think i'll stay that way. abbie decided she wanted to dine on some baby food too but soon discovered that paul was really the one getting the raw end of the deal. today abbie really wanted to feed paul all by herself. i wish i could get her that excited about changing his diapers too.

Saturday, August 18, 2007


This week was a lot of firsts for Abbie and Paul. This week Abbie and Paul went to the Highland Park Spray Park for the first time. Abbie had a blast and Paul well, he was a trooper. The kids also enjoyed their first trip to the theatre to go see Over the Hedge, with their toddler posse. But the best FIRST that Abbie experience this week was (drum roll please)...Abbie picked her BROTHER'S nose and ate the spoils for the first time. I always pray that Abbie and Paul will have a special relationship. I just had no idea how very special it would be.


the baby straight jacket has revolutionized things in the brown household, thank you anne! up until a month ago getting paul to take a nap has been an olympic event. now a quick wrap in the simple swaddle and he's out like a light. i wish i would have discovered this sooner and i wish they made one big enough to fit a toddler.


walgreen's owed me 5 cents for buying this stuff. i even wowed the check out lady today.

Friday, August 10, 2007


i took a trip to ole walgreens this evening and got all this loot and they owed me a penny!!! i LOVE the sisters of savings. who knew saving money could be such a rush! who needs sky diving when you could be cutting coupons. and with this post i officially become a mommie geek.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


the past couple of weeks abbie has begun slapping everyone and everything. the first couple of times when she got scolded for hitting me i could tell she was trying to figure out what had got her in trouble. she would pat me a couple of times and look at me to see how i would respond. sometimes when she's trying to figure this out she'll hit random objects around the house or she'll bonk herself on he head. all of this wasn't so bad but it's getting worse. she's starting to hit other people. she gets frustrated and she whips her arm around wildly. as far as discipline goes, i'm still on the fence when it comes to spanking. several months ago as i struggled with a newborn and a sometimes stubborn toddler i was gung hoe about trading in the naughty spot for a spanking stick. les talked me down and as of right now we are sparing the rod. this works okay for the most part and honestly i would feel pretty silly telling abbie not to hit as i spanked her.

as i've been processing how to best handle this new development in abbie's behavior, i've realize i've made this more about me than about shepherding abbie's heart. i wasn't as concerned about the hitting until abbie started hitting in public. i of course don't want abbie to hit others, but i really don't want to be the parent of "the slapper." what happened to love God, love people, and don't sin in your anger? i've turned discipline into behave so i can look good and feel better about myself. ugh! how in the heck am i going to get the I out of parenting?


at my apartment complex there is a trail with this really pretty duck pond. i love walking my dog in the morning, around this pond. it gives me a chance to talk to God and soak in His beautiful creation. lately since the heat has risen there are all these yucky patches of algae floating in the pond. the heat rises and all the gunk floats to the top. it's like a constant illustration of how i feel lately. i'm on step 2 at CR and as i look around all i see is all this gunk that keeps rising. i look to the left and there's people pleasing and perfectionism. to the right is shame and guilt. behind me is insecurity, pride, and anger. as much as i try to deny what i see, the pile of gunk just keeps growing and i the more i struggle the more entangled i get.

last week as i wrestled with step 2, i felt crazy. i wanted to hand over all my gunky piles to Christ but had no idea how to do that. the struggle of trying to hand it over and snatching it back and trying to lay it down again was exhausting. this week as i settle in and surrender and accept where i am at, i feel less crazy. but the piles of gunk keep floating up and i sometimes feel overwhelmed. how is this pond ever going to be the beautiful thing that God created? there is so much work that needs to be done. i know there is a God. i know that He has the power to clean up my gunk. but do I really matter enough to Him that He'll be willing to clean up my mess?

We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover.
"Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

Monday, August 06, 2007


tonight when i went to go pick up my baby girl from childcare one of the workers made a comment about not knowing whether or not she could give abbie a cracker because she heard abbie was on a diet. SERIOUSLY!?! on a diet at 17 months old? i knew that i was going to have to help guard abbie's heart about how she feels about her body, especially since we live in a society where woman are airbrushed and filled with silicion, i just had no idea all of this would start when she was still just a baby.

the sad thing is that i've already been grooming abbie to have struggles with body image. all the comments i make on a daily basis about the flaws and imperfections of my body will be dumped all over her. as she grows up, she will constantly be shown images of what this world views as beauty and she is going to be watching me to see how i respond to that message. the problem is i've bought into the lie this world is selling. i'm not happy with my fluffy mommie body. i want to be "beautiful" like the victoria's secret models. i've got to get over it though and be thankful over the way God created me, so that my daughter will do the same. i don't want abbie to be crushed the first time someone on the playground points out something that they deam to be a flaw in her. i want her to be confident that she is beautiful because she is wonderfully made by the Creator of the universe and nothing can top the beauty of His creation. i wish i could shield my kids from all the crap this world is going to try to fling at them. thank God that His grace is more sufficient than anything this world can fling.