Wednesday, October 31, 2007


the texas state fair is a good time. les, i and the kids went on opening day on a whim. since there hasn't been too many of those since two amazing babies entered our lives we jumped on the opportunity to be spontaneous. it was fun and the petting zoo was by far the hit of the day. abbie kept kissing the goats and gave us all pink eye a few days later. we went again for fair day at my husbands job. note to self for next year one day at the fair super fun. two days at the fair not as much fun, one trip to the fair is plenty for a year.

surprisingly i only ate one corn dog for two days worth of fair. weird since on one halloween i ate ten corn dogs when sonic had them for 25 cents. (oh how i miss the 25 cent halloween corn dog.) i did eat some fried guacamole. it was almost as if paradise exploded in my mouth. would have eaten it the whole time had we not caught it at the end of our second trip. hmmm... maybe it will be worth going two days next year if only for the deep fried guac.


it amazes me how early the "chase" begins. before boys and girls can even fully understand the difference between the genders the flaunting and preening begins. i never realized the extent boys will go through to make a girl laugh until having a girl myself. older boys will do the silliest things to try to get abbie girl to crack a smile. i of course realize the incredible catch she will one day be but goodness i had no idea how young it started. the other day while having dinner at a friends house i noticed abbie getting into the game herself. our friends three year old was knocking himself out trying to get abbie to giggle. lo and behold my sweet innocent girl starts busting out with this coy fake laugh. fake laugh and she's not even two. these two kids were already playing the game even though they have no idea that one exists or what they were even doing.

as i was in an elevator the other day, i overheard a dad talking about how a boy had already called up his daughter and asked her out on a date. the daughter he was talking about is only ten years old!!! i had no idea all of this would start so soon. i thought there would be easy sailing until at least 6th grade. but look at paul, he's already trying to get into the action placing his hand on a little girls leg. looks like ole dad is already going to have to have a talk with his son. what's a parent to do when your kids are already hardwired for the chase?


Thursday, October 25, 2007


since starting CR i've realized that i 'try' to hold on tightly to my family. i'm not sure if it's the crazy worry gene that most of my family has or if it's becasue of being a mom but i worry about loosing my family. if les is late i worry if he's okay. i wont even get started on the worries i have about my children. i'm sure none of this is completely abnormal BUT lately God has been convicting me that i need to lay my family on His Altar. i can try to keep a firm grasp on my family or i can give them back to God and trust Him with them, after all they are His to begin with. this has been hard but i finally feel like i've been making strides in this department.

abbie has been sick the past week. it started friday night while we were visiting family. she decided she wanted to throw up all over the motel 6 we were staying at. frankly, i don't blame her. saturday on our six hour treck home she cried and was super lethargic. this is so unlike abbie but i chalked it up to yet another stomach bug. we're had a lot of those this past month at the brown household. saturday night rolls around and she is still super tired and starts running a crazy high temp, 103 with meds. i am so not the type to bug the doctor in the middle of the night but at 4am we called. the dr. said it was a stomach bug and we just needed to wait it out. whew! relief. abbie ran a high temp for several days and her lethargy continued. the fever broke on tuesday and wednesday she broke out into a rash. from sat through wednesday i waffled on whether or not to take her to the dr. she just hasn't been herself and she never gets this sick from a stomach bug. i was relieved to see the rash because i figured it was roseola. well, today she is still sleeping a lot and she is still not the abbie girl i know and love. there have been points along this week that icy fear has gripped me that something is just not right. i guess all will soon be revealed today. i finally made a dr's appointment and i'm keeping it this time.

i'm sure abbie is fine and is just recovering from having two bugs at the same time. her brother even came down with the stomach funk yesterday. nothing like feeding a baby peas for lunch and seeing them come back up.

my point in all this is that i want to put my kids and husband up on the altar but i don't really want to be tested in it. again i'm sure abbie is fine BUT what if she isn't? i've read the holmes blog and the thweats blog. both are examples of parents remaining amazingly faithful while watching their children suffer. i'm so glad to have read and to continue to read their journey's but for both families it started off with a lethargic child. i want to be faithful despite my circumstances, i just don't know if i'm ready for a good lesson in this.

Thursday, October 11, 2007


my kids are growing up. paul's personality is exploding. he is such a fun little guy. he's laid back and all smiles and grins but has a sensitive side too. i haven't been able to catch it on camera yet but, he has a pouty face that can bring me to my knees. the little stinker is still not sleeping through the night but if paul is anything like his sister i might have some luck next month. pauley is dying to crawl and i'm dying for him to crawl too. i can't wait for abbie and paul to chance each other around the house!

abbie girl is turning into a big girl. even though i'm not a big fan of the baby stage, i can't believe she's growing up this fast. i want to freeze time and not even think about how someday i wont be able to squeeze her chubby little thighs without it being creepy. i hate to even write this, but we've had some success going potty too. a couple weeks ago she just started asking to go to the potty. we're not pushing her and i'm letting her take the charge but it's very exciting. if i could hack staying at home for a couple weeks i think i might even be able to "house break" her. abbie is obsessed with the movie cars and i'm convinced it's the equivalent of visual crack. hearing her say no and mine all the time isn't great but when she says i love you, it's like hearing angels sing. abbie is silly and feisty girl wrapped up in a tortilla of sweetness. i can't believe i was so freaked out to have a girl.

i had no idea it was possible to love two pint sized little humans this much but sometimes i think paul and abbie will make my heart explode. somehow i'll manage to love trace this much too. CRAZY! here's hoping to a short bus full of them.


if you feed me some chocolate chips mommie i wont tell anyone that you put me in my brother's pj's because you got way behind on laundry.


once we can use the clippers on you without you screaming bloody murder, you will so be sporting one of these out of the tub pauley boy!