Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
kids and I have been fighting an upper respiratory bug and Les just
came down with a yucky stomach bug last night. Poor Luke was the first
Brown to fall and he seemed like he was getting better. Unfortunately
it looks like he's going for a second round. I won't be upset if you
turn and run if you happen to see us Browns out in the wild the next
Saturday, June 28, 2008
our sweet friends hooking us up with the promise VIP land, it was a
very pleasant experience! We even stuck it out till 10:30 to hear
David Crowder. Big Fan!! Abbie is too, she danced like crazy and
totally got into Crowders fat beats. I'm convinced that Friday is the
day to go as long as we have itty bittys and hopefully that will be
for a long time.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
clean house, an actual home cooked meal and enriching activities for
the kids. None of that happened as I consoled a baby with his first
cold and every activity I tried to get together for my two oldest
ended in yelling, tears, or disinterest. I know I set my expectations
too high, especially since my super mom cape is at the cleaners. I
think my real problem is that I'm feeling quite numb and I'm battling
a case of the blahs. This is strange since there is nothing blah about
wrangling three monkies. Normally I fight against the blahs, and it
gets me nowhere. This time I'm just gonna sit in it. Only this time I
choose to sit in it with friends instead of by myself.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
me that it was Friday the 13th.
Last Friday I took the kids to Chicken Play. I must have gotten a bit
cocky since there were no massive blow outs and headed to Target for
Father's Day surprises. Bad idea. I didn't think about the time when I
went to Target. It was 7ish and that's the time of day that Luke likes
to feed for three hours straight.
As soon as we get there Luke starts fussing. I grab a couple things
and head to the toy isle to let the kids play and to feed Luke. This
is totally not the first time I've plopped myself in an isle at Target
and nursed a baby. You might even be thinking " oh so your the lady
whose boob I saw at the local target."
Anyway, Abbie and Paul behaved extraordinarily well. They were totally
obedient! I pulled a baby as fat as a tick off my boob and thought I
would be able to finish my Target Adventure. Nope. The baby was not
satisfied! At this point Paul decided obedience was not as fun
anymore. As I tried to wrangle him Luke had a blow out. This was a
minor poo leak so I just patched things up by putting a size 4 diaper
over his clothes. At this point Luke and Paul are in full on meltdown
mode. I decided to abort my mission when Abbie, who was being as close
to a saint as a two year old can get, says she needs to go poo poo on
the potty. Abbie has been known to take 20 + minutes to go poop. All I
could do was head to the bathroom. The pictures below capture, what
went on while I nursed a baby with a voracious appetite, better than
words. Needless to say Abbie and Paul had the longest bath ever that
but instead I chose to wallow in self pity. I tried to hang in there
but fell apart anyway. It's AC, its a privledge, and I feel dumb.
The huge glaring thing that surfaced during the "AC Blow Out of 08" is
that I really don't like having to be helped by others. Instead of
this past week being a time to be loved by others I allowed pride to
get in the way. I'm still stiff arming people and I had no idea. I
fear relying on others because independence is so much safer. I can't
get hurt if I only rely on myself. The irony in all of this is that I
have to rely on God to help tear down this defense mechansim in me.
This week I sat on a friends couch as she served me all day and
instead of feeling loved and embraced I felt uncomfortable. Thats when
I realized I'm still holding back and not truly letting people in. My
first reaction was to try to find a way to stop doing this. I can't
and I don't know how so I've got to let go and let God enter that area
of my life.
Although its frustrating to continue to see how far off I am, its
awesome knowing God is still making progress on me. He is so faithful
eventhough I'm not! I'm hoping next trial that comes along I'll be a
better example of James 1:2-18.
Monday, June 16, 2008
this week. No AC is kicking my bum! Luke has a heat rash, the other
two monkies are soo sleep deprived, and Les and I are too for that
matter. Thankfully some sweet friends that we've beared our souls to
every Monday night have put us up in there air conditioned palaace.
Les and I finally put pride aside and accepted the offer.
I have learned two things during all this. One is being more aware of
the little things I take for granted that I need to be grateful for.
The second is that the Browns are so ready to go camping. Sleeping in
a tent in the backyard was fun but would be a ton of fun under
Saturday, June 14, 2008
be caught in the middle between a talkative big sister and itty bitty
brother. You have no idea how you are beginning to shine. You have the
most radiant smile that can brighten even the darkest of rooms. The
little boy hugs and kisses that you now give me bring me to my knees.
Your cry has always been the hardest for me to handle. As an infant it
was so intense and potient that it could peel the paint off of walls.
Now in the middle of the night, it contains so much sorrow it breaks
your mommas heart. Buddy if you only knew how much we love you, and
more importantly how much your Creator loves you, you wouldn't be
struggling with this separation anxiety. I promise with God's help to
do the best I can to never make you feel like a middle child. I love
you Pauley Walley!
Friday, June 13, 2008
fro. I think this kid is going to have fro growing potiential. You
better believe this momma is fired up!!! When I worked with youth I
always tried to get the kids who had fro potiential to grow one. My
powers of persuasion must really stink. Whatever punk teens, my baby
will grow a fro and he'll love it as much as me!
Came home from the LH spray park (thank you building blocks leaders!)
to sweat it up in hot box called our home. Thankfully, I still have
three sleeping kids right now. Luke woke up for a snack but is passed
out again. This baby, or maybe the other two wild ones, are making me
appreciate the newborn stage.
Les is working late so headed to the Chicken Play again for dinner.
Hopefully, none of us will be wearing mustard yellow tonight.
Week one of project three under three solo has been a success. I'm
starting to wonder if this is the calm before the storm.
without the moms. Paul had fun going back to the doc with mom for his
15 month check up, while Abbie and Luke hung out with dad at home.
They got to wait on the glorious AC repair man to come.
That afternoon we romped poolside, HA, and fixed burgers and dogs. Our
friends the Howells joined us and Niaya and Cole wore out Abbie and
Paul. THANK YOU!!
Updates: Paul is still not sleeping well through the night, AC broke
again, and NO I'm not pregnant.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
more upset about getting a new diaper put on afterwards. Abbie and
Paul did great in the waiting room considering the wait. Les witnessed
the procedure and managed not to pass out. He's not a fainter but the
nurse informed us that plenty of dads get woozey while watching.
Kids lacked a nap but still managed to hold it together for a late
afternoon Costco trip. I HEART Costco!
When I got home I discovered our AC had froze up. So, if you see me
tomorrow and my nature musk is a bit strong, you'll know the reason why.
If your wondering why my latest posts look funky, its because I'm
posting from my email on my phone while I nurse my smallest critter.
Too lazy and too short on time to go back and fix it. Sorry for all
folks who need symmetry.
because of the way he screamed bloody murder Monday. Nope, no ear
infection! Glad he's not sick but I know I gave the doc a "what the
We headed to the new Chicken Play, as Abbie calls it, and while
feeding Luke in the anklebiters zone Luke had the biggest blow out
I've ever seen. I was covered in poo and got it on Paul and Abbie too.
Good thing we hadn't eaten yet! Cleaned us all up the best I could and
ate one of the best chic no pic sandwiches ever with mustard stains
all over my pants. Good times and good story! I'm fine with life's
little hiccups as long as its all a good story in the end.
Today Abbie asked if she could nurse Luke. Oh how I wish she could!
husband or the moms. I was so freaked out to be alone for the first
time with Abbie and Paul. Three is such an easier transition than two.
I've already learned what its like to be out numbered so what's one
Monday we went to a play day at a local church. There were baby pools,
lots of sand and good friends. What more could I ask for? Kids didn't
nap at the same time but Abbie and Luke got some sweet cuddle time.
I'm lovin it! Lovin not being pregnant too!
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
for all you birth story junkies, here is my pretty average birth story. no unplanned home births this time. i WAS totally freaked about having luke in the car on the way to the hospital but nothing crazy like that happened.
two weeks before luke's big arrival i started having regular, irregular contractions. i had never experienced this prior to luke and they drove me bonkers. my midwife said third and fifth babies tend to be a bit more pokey than the others. this didn't do much to help my insanity or my crazy insomnia.
the day before i had luke i had an appointment with my midwife. a few hours before i went i started having contractions again and thought we might just be staying to have a baby instead of just for an appointment. of course they stopped. i normally don't ask to get checked to see if i've progressed because i think it's silly but i was desperate and hoping an internal exam would help gets things rolling. my midwife looked at me then asked my husband what he was doing that day and then told me i was 5cm and 50% effaced. i could have jumped up and kissed her.
the rest of the day i contracted off and on. my husband ended up taking the day off "just in case". that evening we went to a vision cast for a new church plant in portland, oregon (lodgepole community church) that our friends, the revards, are planting. after that i decided we needed to drop the kids off somewhere. i was convinced that they were the reason why i wasn't going into full on labor. at 11pm we dropped the kids off at the stroope's and les and i were going to walk like crazy to get things shaking. while we were walking i gave up trying to understand what the heck was going on with my body. this labor was sooo different than abbie and paul's. i finally gave up and tried to sleep. i woke up and had contractions again for about a half hour and woke les up and told him we were going to the hospital. i didn't want to get stuck in morning traffic and have the baby in the car. this experience was totally different. i wasn't in excruciating pain like i was on the way to deliver abbie. when we got to the hospital i was able to talk to the nurse get checked in and didn't object to getting monitored for their required twenty minutes.
after we were checked in les and i went to walk some more. we walked all the way across the street to the big beautiful golden arches. when we came back lindsey my midwife talked about the possibility of breaking my water. we went walking again for another thirty minutes and then i had lindsay check me to see if i had progressed at all. nope, big fat negative! i was so tired of all the contraction craziness and asked about the pros and cons of getting my water broken. all she had to say is that you could be here all day. i'm all for natural but i'm not against some intervention too and there was no flippin way i was going to be in that dumb hosiptal all stinking day long. i knew what would happen if my water was broke so i of course was nervous. the plan was to go walk once my bag was busted. i stood up and knew there would be no walking. i went to the bathroom, and then went directly to the first chair i saw. thank goodness it was a rocker. so basically my water was broken at 8:15ish and luke was born at 8:52. lindsey is a rock star midwife and totally knew when i switched to pushing contractions. i did too but was surprised it happened so fast. i was going to just give birth in the chair but then remembered how awesome it was to deliver paul on all fours. oh yes, i am a birthing animal. somehow i managed to get onto the birthing bed and started pushing. during all of this les told be i kept saying "fffuuuuuu" over and over again. i never finished with the "ck" but you better believe i wanted to. at one point i remember yelling about lukes freakishly large head. this seemed to go on forever but probably all in all was a less than ten minute affair. when lukes head was out i heard lindsay say stop pushing but that boy wanted to shoot out like a cannon ball. i figured that the cord was wrapped around his neck but there was nothing i could do so i tried not to freak. thankfully, when lindsay and les caught the baby he did a somersault and rolled out of the cord that was wrapped around his neck twice. my cord was really long too so that was a total blessing. les and i were so thankful it was paul, not luke that was born at home.
unfortunately we were not able to leave from labor and delivery. luke had a couple low blood sugar readings so they put him on a twelve hour watch. they also thought he might have developmental hip dysplasia. thankfully, all of it cleared rather quickly. nothing too exciting about the labor and delivery other than another awesome baby!!