Friday, December 26, 2008


Managed to dodge santa for one more year. Probably won't be as lucky
next year.

Sorry Santa there won't be any cookies for you next year either but
you are more than welcome to have a piece of cake we make for King

Sunday, December 21, 2008


ever have one of those dreams you can't get out of your head? the kind of dream that is so real and vivid and the images linger for hours, days or maybe even for weeks. i had one of those dreams and i can't forget it. it causes my heart to beat wildly. the pounding reverberates in my ears and has become a beating anthem. with each beat grows more and more longing. longing for a child i don't yet know, who may or may not even be conceived yet. each day i grow more and more determined to bring home the little boy who is destined to be in our family. the little boy who will be born half way across the world, who someday i will be blessed to call mine.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


mommy guilt is suffocating this week. SUFFOCATING ME! I can't pull it together this week. There's a tantrum from two at every turn and the mommy guilt is suffocating. San Antonio is suffocating me. I can't win there. I'll never be fully known there. the mask I wear there is suffocating me. Thank you Jesus that you are the breath of life.


Today was another one of those days where the tears and tantrums felt
endless. My solution today was to throw all three of the kiddos in bed
including myself and take a nap, a three hour nap! Kids woke up cranky
but at least I wasn't. I will miss these sweet times of being wrapped
up in a cuddly pile of brown babies.

Monday, December 08, 2008


Sweet Abbie girl tried a new experiment this afternoon. She ran the scientific method on coin swallowing. After throwing up a couple of them I think she realized this was a rather painful experiment. Last week she experimented with eating almost an entire bottle of teething tabs so I decided not to call poison control twice this month. I called her doctor and she should be fine barring any remaining coins getting stuck. This kid could poop out a car so I think the worst has past.

I'm pretty sure Abbie learned swallowing coins is not where it's at today. Coughing up those coins was physically painful and she understood the seriousness of the situation when I told her we had to call Dr. Hieber. But what did momma learn today?

I can't experience something like this without trying to learn
something myself. I was the culprit who allowed Abbie to play with
the coins after all. I saw her grab them out of the car and used that
as an opportunity to teach her to ask before just taking things. I
didn't take them away from her. My question to myself this afternoon
was am I too much of a type B momma? I have some A-ness too but have
realized thats more about control than anything.

I often joke that I have to get off the phone or whatever because my
kids are juggling knives or building a pipe bomb. I'm not that laid
back but I know I'm more laid back than most. Am I too laid back
though? Probably in some areas I am but I'm not going to fear this.
This afternoon my mind went off to all the horrible things that could
happen to my children because of my perceived character flaw. I then
remembered that I constantly pray that the Lord would equip me with
wisdom and discernment as a mom. I have to trust that God's grace is
sufficient in my oversights as a mom. He is the one who holds all
things together in His hands. It's nice to know as long as I'm doing
my best to be the momma that God created me to be, I don't have to try hold all things together in my own hands.

Sunday, December 07, 2008


Why do I want so many kids? Because this is one of the greatest joys
in life!

Saturday, December 06, 2008


If this chunky monkey doesn't want purée fine with me. Bring on the
chicken nuggets!