we decided to move forward. The thing that sealed the deal for me was
a vivid dream of our Ethiopian son. I always worried about having the
ability to love an adopted child as much ad my own. In that dream it
was so apparent that I didn't need to worry. The boy in my dream was
my son. He may have been birthed by a different mother BUT he was mine
and the feeling of love was so strong.
A month or two later I had another dream. One as equally vivid. I
dreamed I discovered I was pregnant and although excited about new
life, I was sad that our baby boy in Africa would have to wait to come
home. This dream only fueled my fire! So many of my friends are
beautifully pregnant. It's contagious! The joy and excitement of being
apart of the miracle of life is so compelling.
Yesterday I discovered that the second dream came true. I am expecting
Catorce Brown sometime in November. I am excited to be apart of yet
another miracle! I am scared at being pregnant while in the throws of
the terrible threes and two's. I am so sad that our sweet baby boy in
Africa won't be coming home as soon as expected. It's amazingly bitter
sweet. I know all this means is that our baby boy in Africa is not yet
conceived. The boy that God has hand picked for our family is a gift
promised for the future. I am truly blessed beyond measure and in awe
of God's Sovereignty.
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