Stadium. Tonight back at home, reflecting on the day, God brought to
light something I'm not proud of. I was not grieved by the least bit
tonight that those sitting around me and those all around the stadium
do not know Jesus. Instead I watched a guy with a cigarette in his
hand yelling down to a friend in the bullpen. I sat there wondering
how many more times he was going to say "for reals" and if he was
going to light that cig up. A few moments later I glanced across the
stands to watch a woman with a beer in her hand try to start the wave.
The comment "what you really need is another beer" not only went
across my mind it came out if my mouth.
The reality is that I'm only a few short steps away from getting
loaded at a game myself. I wasn't the one who rescued myself from a
life of self destruction, Jesus did. I didn't choose to follow whole
heartedly after Christ on my own, God pursued me first.
My heart should break for those around who don't know this Jesus who
saves and redeems. I don't mean this in a prideful, I have all the
answers and you don't kinda way. Some people just scream that they are
lost and searching for something more. You can see the lonliness in
their eyes if you search deep enough. This is what should grieve my
heart. It grieves me now to think my mouth would so readily and easily
open to cast judgement on another brother or sister made in Christ's
image, instead of opening to share the hope there is in Jesus.
Lord may you grow me to be the kind of woman who would bless those
with my words not curse them. My I desire what you desire. May my
knowledge and love of you grow more and more so that my mouth cannot
contain the hope and joy that can be found in only you with others!