this past week has been a beating. Bea ting! Yet this past week has been just the kind of week I needed to shake my out of my selfish funk. I can't say my day started off on the right path. It's been a hard weekend with a poor sweet sick husband. Some of you may be gasping right now with sympathy but please don't. I don't have one of those husbands who becomes an additional child to take care of when he's sick. In fact I learned just how much my man sucks it up in order to continue to serve his family. The truth is if Les wasn't as hands on as he is with the kids this family would flop. Flop is what I did all week long. The really sad thing is that this morning even though I had seen my husband suck it up and love the best he could all week long, all I could think about this morning while trying to get out of the door was "must be nice to take a shower every morning". It must be nice.
My selfishness can be astonishing at times. It is the biggest thief of my joy with my husband and my kids. I can't be thankful if I'm too busy looking to myself and upset about what I didn't get or about what I deserve. Tonight while putting the kids to bed together with my husband I saw for the first time in a couple weeks the sheer beauty of our loud, messy and sometimes chaotic family. I saw the five blessings that God has so graciously bestowed on me.
91. Bedtime cuddling and singing
92. A husband who pushes through and sucks it up even with pneumonia
93. A family with good health
94. Clean sheets
95. A little girl who yells "don't be mean to my brother!!" to other children being mean to her brother
96. My boys dimples
97. The sheer joy Abbie finds out of girlie things
98. That God joined Les and I together six years ago and I live him so much more than I did the day I married him.
99. That God doesn't kick my butt when I'm being a brat
100. For weeks that bring me to my knees that make the "good" weeks even more amazing
101. Friends pursuing adoption
102. Beautiful spring days
103. A playground I can walk to
104. The teenage girls that live on my street
105. The opportunity that awaits me everyday
106. The bond I see growing between my children that keeps getting stronger
107. My smoking hot husband
108. Team Brown and how thankful I am to be apart of it
109. That God promises to continue to grow me even if I'm kicking and screaming
110: ceiling fans