Tuesday, January 17, 2012

DAY 542: MATT 13

I think the Lord was trying to use my children to break me today. I'm not there quite yet but I know it wouldn't be a bad thing so I don't fear it.

My oldest has been so disrespectful lately. She is an amazing girl and I know some waves are to be excepted with a new sibling but it's wearing me out. Today was the first time I've thought that there's no way I can school her at home because there's too much clashing occurring. Frankly it doesnt matter if we clash or not. We've both got to figure out how to love each other well and this is so good for us. Wonder if Bella will be cut from the same mold that the both of us are made of. I'm thankful for days like today with fits worthy of being on the Super Nanny that keep me humble as a parent.

I got a tiny glimpse into the insanity God endures today. I extended much grace and had compassion to the child that repeatedly hit, screamed at and disrespected. There was a turn for a moment but then it was back to same minus the screaming and hitting. I asked God to step in because I was angry at the child and harboring an unforgiving heart. Very thankful that God does not love like I do! So thankful for these five Brownies who are shaping and molding me in ways I never thought possible. I did experience a brief window today where I felt like Michelle freakin Duggar. All four kids engrossed in learning about the states while great jazz played in the background and baby was attached and content. Thankful for that sweet gift today as well.

MATT 13:
One chapter a day in the gospels is a lot. I don't even know where to start. I keep drifting off too so that is not helping anything. Nothing I could possibly write could do this chapter any justice. Will focus on just this one verse.

For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.' (Matthew 13:15 NIV84)

This verse is so incredibly sad to me. If only everybody would open their ears and their eyes and be willing to hear so that the Lord could heal them. I myself am an example that this stated of having a calloused blind and dead heart is not hopeless.

But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. (Matthew 13:16 NIV84)

I think one of the beautiful things about being able to "see" and to "hear" is that is that along with the healing vision and hearing get even better. I love that living a life with Christ is a beautiful and amazing process. If we can land in that fertile soil much beauty can be grown. I pray that I don't allow the weeds in my life to choke out the harvest God wants to sow in my life.


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