Monday, January 23, 2012

DAY 548: MATT 16

My kids and whatever is in the air is beating me into submission. I was a grumpy tail hole all day today. I was focused once again on my agenda and on my circumstances. I've been eating a whole lot of humble pie lately. Big fat honking pieces of pride smashing pie. My friends I'm being squeezed and what is coming out is ugly. I'm still a hormonal basket case who could use more sleep but wish I was handling life with a little bit more grace. None of this is fun but I'm thankful. Thankful that even now He's hard at work cutting away the rot and decay of my sin. Grateful for the crazy love that embraces me despite my sinful yuck.
If I did have a Duggar moment today it surely must have been a moment that happens when the cameras are put away.

MATT 16:
I love the gospels. Just love them! I wish my brain would work so I could really spend time diving deep. I love this entire chapter but the section that resonated the most was when Jesus tells his disciples to be aware of the yeast of the Pharisees. They had forgotten bread for their journey so all they could make of Jesus statement was that he was talking about bread.

Love me some Jesus:
Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, "You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? (Matthew 16:8 NIV84)

This would so be me. "I knew Jesus was mad at me for forgetting the bread. What are we going to eat for dinner now?". This is so perfect for me right now. I'm having a hard time looking past the mounting to-do's and tired of being completely embarrassed when neighbors drop by. But who cares? Neighbors have been dropping by because we've opened our home up to the people on our street on a regular basis. I love that they would drop by. I should be focusing about this awesome fact instead of the gross house they happen to walk into now. Instead of enjoying my kids all I seem to be focusing on is all the mess and destruction they have been leaving all over the house. Thank you God for the mess and destruction! I would much rather have that then clean and sparkly with no amazing Brownies. My focus is off and I hate it!

Be careful of the yeast of the Pharisee. Prideful McPridefulson most definitely needs to be aware of this. As much as I'm not enjoying my gross selfishness oozing everywhere and constantly having to battle it, I'm thankful. It's times like this that remind me all the more how much I need my wonderful Savior. It's times like this that I realize my poop does stink and it's disgusting. I'm a sinful beast and I'm no better than anyone else. I don't have it figured out and I am in need of God's grace and forgiveness every minute of the day. And that is all.


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