Thursday, January 26, 2012

DAY 551: MATT 19

Once again I am at a loss of words of how to begin. This morning a cherished friend stopped by who provided company and provision. The day that had started off beautifully faded into chaos. My sweet Bella demanded to be in my arms or literally attached to me at all times. The other four were exhausted from a super long Wednesday and were Brownies gone wild. Order and structure took a vacation today and it was a mess. I had to try to will myself to choose joy today. Joy did not ooze and overflow but at least I tried to fight the good fight. Shaking off the snakes was hard. In fact I want to shake them off now but Brownie after Brownie keeps coming into my room right now. I love them and I'm thankful for them but I have an itchy face and a scratchy throat and I'm still irritated that my newest tattle tale in the house didn't say a single thing as his brother dumped a basket full of puzzles and games everywhere onto the floor. It's still sitting there now because if bedtime came one second later I was certain I would drop dead right there on top of the hundreds of puzzle pieces on the floor. Now these children want to climb into my bed one after another after I already put them to sleep! And I'm thankful. Thankful that it is humbling to have somebody else fold your laundry even if you love them dearly and learning again that it's okay not to be super woman. Thankful that even though I did get wrapped up in the multitude of messes instead of being focused on loving that I still fought. Thankful that even though my daughter and I sparred today several times there was opportunity for both parties to seek forgiveness and receive grace. Thankful that I think I've finally got it through my thick skull that I need to shut my mouth and let consequences speak for themselves. Sweet Pam MaGee told me that a couple weeks ago and I need to put it into practice. I'm thankful thankful thankful. This gig in BrownTown is hard. It's crazy hard but it's transforming me and it's making me learn to rely on Him. Even now I realize if only I had dropped to my knees and asked for help instead of thinking the answer was throwing them all into bed. They needed to go to bed but I missed out on making that time beautiful. Even though I missed yet another opportunity redemption is in my bed right now, all five of them.

On another note it's about time I headed on in to an ENT. I've had bouts of dizziness here and there through the years but lately it's gotten worse and now I can tell my equilibrium is a bit off. I'm not coordinated on a good but getting a bit stumbly lately. Haven't had my ghetto ear checked lately anyway so I'm sure it's about that time.

MATT 19:
This might be lame but these two verses struck me the most today.

Vs 13-14
Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:13, 14 NIV84)

Just the previous chapter before Jesus was telling his disciples this:

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:2, 3 NIV84)

This is completely wrong but I love how often the disciples get it wrong despite Jesus's teaching. The disciples have to be told over and over again before they eventually get it right. I'm the same way. I think sometimes it does me best to just be clubbed over the head with it.

This is also a great reminder and encouragement with parenting. These knuckleheads are going to need to be told over and over again and not only is that okay it should be expected. The bonehead disciples who missed it all the time ended up being amazing warriors for Christ later. Those lessons that had to be taught over and over took root and grew into the very marrow of their bones giving them courage to die for the very Savior they loved. Gives me hope and a renewed vigor to tirelessly teach the very little ones He's so graciously blessed me with!


Sent from my iPhone

No comments: