Monday is rapidly approaching and many times today my stomach did flip flops. Monday is coming and Jesus is still my Lord and King who will heal and restore and fight for us. I don't know what tomorrow or the next day will look like but I have a peace that surpasses all understanding.
Today was filled with an underlying thick sadness. Things aren't as they should be and today I longed to just go back to the way things were. I know now that is not the end goal. Things can't go back to the ways they were. All of this would be in vain if it did. There is a bigger grander picture in all of this that I'm just not privy to just yet. I do feel as if I have my marching orders though. Live day by day in full submission to what The Lord sets forth for us each day. I should always live this way but sometimes God forces your hand and you have no other choice but to approach life one day at a time. I am thankful in many ways to have the opportunity to fully embrace each day's mercies, graciousness and provision.
The second thing I feel called to do is keep searching for the log in my own eye. We are not to be doormats but we are not to return evil for evil. We are to clothe ourselves with humility and fully embrace that The Lord will fight for us and will vindicate us. We mustn't fight dirty and rely on our own strength. We mustn't cling to the worlds rules of engagement. If there is a higher purpose in all of this mess and I fully believe that there is we must do all that we can to be faithful to glorify God through it all. We must be truth tellers yet not slanderers. We must at times embrace righteous anger yet not sin in it. We must be wise as serpents and yet gentle as doves. A gentle response turns away wrath.
Thirdly we must be the voice for those who have no voice. We must be the advocate for our kiddo and quite possible for others in the future. We must not waste this opportunity to grow and deepen our trust and our reliance on The Lord. He is good all the time. We must learn when to be quiet and still and wait and when to be strong and courageous. We are more than conquerors through Him who loves us.
Today I was thinking about just how much can change in such a short amount of time. That in light of this verse puts things into perspective for me:
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:34 ESV)
If I took all the insignificant stuff I sit and ponder and fret over and instead laid it at His feet instead and moved on I'd have so much more time and energy to use on other useful things. Let's not forget the added freedom that would bring. He's got it, every last bit of it. Frankly who knows what is going to be thrown upside down tomorrow anyway. We have no clue what's around that next bend for better or for worse. If I truly did order my life around seeking God's kingdom first just imagine how all the worry, stress and anxiety of the temporal would fall away.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:33 ESV)
The beauty of seeking the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first is realizing I absolutely can't do that on my own. Apart from Jesus I am a morally bankrupt train wreck.
In other temporal news we found a dog today and in trying to do the right thing our kids named the darn thing and the loss of Fluffy has been difficult. I will admit I even liked the darn thing and I'm usually not a big fan of little fur ball dogs. Thank goodness it wasn't a Chihuahua. If it was I'm sure the right thing to do would have been to let it be and let the coyote that roams our neighborhood get it. The less rats posing as dogs the better in my opinion.
One of my children has a popcorn kernel stuck in his ear. Who knows how long it's been there. Very possible we may have to put him under in order to get it out because it has swollen from moisture in his ear. Hopefully a skilled ENT will be able to get it w/ out all the extra drama. Good times!
Chapter 7 SOTM continued. Great stuff here. This is the stuff, the how to, the target on the wall so to speak of this Christian living. Chapter 8 is so incredibly amazing. Love how being entrenched in the OT makes the coming of the Messiah all the richer. 34 verses of action packed Jesus awesomeness.
Love the story of Jesus healing the leper. The sweet outcast of a man humbly comes before Jesus on his knees not demanding yet knowing Jesus could in fact heal him if Jesus so desired to. I need to look more like this leper. I come to Jesus demanding. The tune of my heart needs to change to "not my will but your will be done".
Then the centurion enters the scene.
And behold, a leper came to him and knelt before him, saying, "Lord, if you will, you can make me clean."
But the centurion replied, "Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof, but only say the word, and my servant will be healed. (Matthew 8:2, 8 ESV)
I never caught this before but this is Jesus response.
When Jesus heard this, he marveled and said to those who followed him, "Truly, I tell you, with no one in Israel have I found such faith. (Matthew 8:10 ESV)
Jesus was marveled at this man's faith. The Son of God marveled at a mere man. The thing that I take away here is that God knows how weak and sinful we are. Jesus marveled because this man's faith was not bound to his circumstances nor by what he knew was humanly possible. This man didn't have Jesus shoved in a box and constrained by only what he knew as a mere mortal. Jesus marveled at this man's faith. Oh to have a faith like that.
And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. And they went and woke him, saying, "Save us, Lord; we are perishing." And he said to them, "Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?" Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. And the men marveled, saying, "What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?" (Matthew 8:23-27 ESV)
Jesus has so got this. We don't have to fight all we have to do is remain still. He will calm the wind and the waves.