Today I'm thankful for our co-op. I truly love the knucklehead kids I've been able to hang out with in their classes. Not sure I'll be ready to teach a class next semester but fired up about the idea of someday in the future. I miss working with students.
Ready for the dust to begin to settle. So much left to process before that can begin. Be still, be quiet, so hard.
The top verse has been on my mine tonight and as I went to copy it the second verse caught my eye.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV)
Do not lean on your own understanding. That needs to be my anthem right now. Just because I can't see how things can be put back together does NOT mean The Lord doesn't. His ways are not my ways. I'm so incredibly thankful for that!!!
In all your ways acknowledge Him. This sounds so much easier than it
Read this psalm because of a precious friend today. It's beautiful.
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. (Psalm 51:1 ESV)
I'm a total mess and this way and that way. I wish I was handling my grief and anger in a much more graceful way. I'm a total bankrupt mess though. I need Jesus and I need Him to be merciful to me in all this because I'm a sinful mess.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. (Psalm 51:2-3 ESV)
God daily I'm a sinful beast but lately I feel as if all day long I stumble in my sin. I'm fighting but Lord I'm weary. So much of my flesh is squeezed out. I know if it didn't appear because of this situation it would still be there regardless. You know full well the condition of my heart on a "good" day and a bad one. Create in me a new heart. Renew a right spirit within me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. (Psalm 51:4 ESV)
I don't know how I feel about this verse. I do believe ultimately our sin is sin against God but I think we also sin against others. I believe in this psalm in particular David had sinned against Bathsheba, her husband and against Joab ( I think) who he sent to execute the death orders for Bath's hubs which I can't think of his name right now.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. (Psalm 51:10-12 ESV)
God this is my prayer tonight!
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (Psalm 51:17 ESV)
Oh Lord let me not walk away from all of this w/out a humble and contrite heart.