I'm weary of the complications that have made this past month well, complicated. I've spiraled and stewed and surrendered and repeated all three over and over again. I don't know when to fight and when to be quiet and still. The only thing I'm completely sure of is I'm a broken sinner in desperate need of Jesus. Today I can honestly say I'm thankful for the mess and the chaos. I hate feeling crazy but I also know the beauty of laying it all down at the feet of Christ. It doesn't take away the pain nor does it microwave the process but it gives rise to hope and to peace that surpasses understanding.
Under a pile of sleeping Brownies. It's been quite the day and if I'm honest all 7 of us that dug in together today were a bunch of self centered stinkpots. Thankful that tomorrow is another opportunity. I do love this wild bunch.
I'm thankful for the return of spontaneous singing in our home. I had no idea it had been missing until it returned today. The dark cloud still remains but light has begun to break forth. Tomorrow will be another heavy day but for today I'm thankful for moments of lightheartedness.
These verses are being driven into my heart. I'm sure it will be a lifelong process.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV)
This can be such a cliche verse. There is much peace that comes from trusting in The Lord with ALL your heart but it is difficult. Satan threw firebombs at me all day. I could have spiraled into very dark places. This verse was my armor today. The what ifs were surrendered to trusting God. If any of the half dozen scenarios that popped into my head happen God is STILL on His throne. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He will keep our paths straight.
Great story of the disciples to follow up Proverbs 3:5-6
Jesus goes on Simons boat and tells him to cast his nets. He obeys and the haul of fish almost sinks the boat. When Simeon and his buddies get back on shore they leave everything and follow Jesus.
And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch." And Simon answered, "Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets." (Luke 5:4-5 ESV)
Help me to trust and obey you Lord even when it doesn't make sense.