Headed out in a few and wanted to try to mail this in, I mean send this out before I left. I'm quite the mess today. I think seeing the stress on my kid's hands today and a combination of other things has brought another round of anger and grief. Dropping off something at a friend's house tonight I prayed for help as the anger fantasies tried to rule my thoughts. Tonight while praying at my sink altar I realized that I want instant gratification from God. I want Him to stop the overwhelming emotions instantly and the constant desire to sin in my anger. When the response isn't instant I kick and flail as if He is no longer there. But He's there and He's in the midst of the storm. He isn't shocked or overwhelmed by me. If I'll let Him and if I'm willing to run to Him He wants to comfort me through the midst of the chaos. He wants to give me the gift of hope in the midst of my sorrow and despair. I'm so incredibly broken hearted over my son. How did God send His son to die for us? I know He's with me and I know He understands.
Sweet meeting tonight. So encouraged. These gals had no idea how tonight gave me hope for upcoming conflict resolutions talks I have looming in front of me. Glad I was able to get out of my car. Ugly tears in my big ole van before I could walk into that meeting. Still so sad about broken relationship.
Realized tonight that somehow I want to find a way to make things right with my kiddo. The truth is there is absolutely nothing I can do to make things "right". It's the wrong goal to try to achieve.
Fading fast. Crazy emotional day. Bleh!
1. The lukewarm are weeded out. Ananias and Saphira lie and when caught in their sin drop dead. It causes fear amongst some of the believers. There was no room for the lukewarm so A & S served a great reminder to everyone that becoming a believer meant a full devotion to Christ.
2. I think I often confuse what it means to be meek. I assume that boldness and meekness can not reside in the same body. This is not so. Peter was bold but was also meek.
3. Gamaliel is wise and bold as a Pharisee. He knows a plot derived by man will fail. However, if god is behind a movement there will be victory.