Wednesday, December 03, 2014

DAY 1565: Advent

Another pretty good day. If I was going to rate my day based on productivity it would be a bad day, a very bad day. It's funny a couple weeks when I was sick and couldn't muster enough energy to do anything all I wanted to do was "be productive". This week I feel fine but can't muster up enough motivation to get er done. Laundry is backing up into massive piles, things need to be cleaned, especially the kitchen counters, the to do list is never ending and yet I moved from chair to chair this afternoon. It was fantastic. Horrible homemaker this week but the kind of mom I really want to be. I really have a hard time balancing the household mundane and not letting it wag the dog. I hate the mundane and really all I want to do is play with my kids all day. I want to play their silly games with them. I want to take silly pictures and laugh a million times with them of a video of one of them saying bottom. I want to lay around together and read books for hours. But I stink so much at the other and it takes me so long just to figure out dinner and do all the other things. Then there's the thousand of distractions that happen when I'm trying to get my thing done and it never fully gets done anyway and then I end up with nothing getting done anyway. Forget the mundane! I'm going to play, at least until it drives me  completely crazy. Really wish I was more high functioning or faster in my functioning. 

Watched old videos of the kids today. I simply can't believe how fast the years have flown by. I hate it. I miss the days when school didn't have to be done bothered with. Family naps existed and laundry exploding everywhere and a dirty house was okay because who can do anything with a herd of littles. I can be more. I can be more "functional" now but I think it has lulled me into a season of not playing with them because they can play completely on their own. Those moments are now used to put a baby to bed or get a much needed task completed. The days of playing pretend with my children are slipping through my fingers. They won't always want to get in a big pile together and listen to me read. God help me not loose sight of what is most important. These days are fleeting and they are short. Help me to choose the bests thing Lord. Open my eyes to the schemes of the evil one who wants to lure me away from the most important of things. 

This advent devotional is wrecking me in such a beautiful way. Not sure if Piper wrote it but the author brings out the things I've missed for a lifetime and casts a new light on things.

There's this:
God's will was that though Christ was rich, yet for your sake he became poor. The "No Vacancy" signs over all the motels in Bethlehem were for your sake. "For your sake he became poor" (2 Corinthians 8:9).

And then there's this:

And we must not forget that he said, "He who would come after me must deny himself and take up his cross."


Oh the many things I let distract me away from a heart of gratitude. So much room for growth and yet regardless there is still so much love from a Savior. He doesn't come to condemn but rather He comes to ask "where are you?". Oh this love from a Father how can it be so? Overwhelmed by it tonight.

For YOUR sake he became poor.


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