So many discoveries this week. Most point out my continued battle with pride and self reliance, my fear of being weak. Someone talked about not liking the person that is left if the strong person is removed. I can so resonate with feeling that way. The thought of being needy causes anxiety in me.
So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10 ESV)
I hate to even pray this Lord for I fear what it could mean and yet I so desperately desire for you to continue to crush the pride that resides within me. It keeps me from you and I am needy and desperate to sit in your presence.
Deception has not fallen far from the household of Laban and Rebekah. Jacob gets twenty years getting a taste of his own medicine from his uncle. Already this family is such a hot mess.