Stupid head raged all night instead of submitting to my desires to QUIT IT. Drug my buns out of bed to throw more pills at it and it's still being stubborn but at least the edge has been taken off. Not looking forward to starting my week off already dreading the day. It's going to be beautiful today and I really should just scratch everything and enjoy outside. I know it would do me and the kids some good. My inner winter troll is not too happy about that prospect though. In all transparency the thought "living takes too much energy" popped into my head. I really think my problem is that I was created to hibernate during the winter. That would be so great!
This might be my all time favorite verse:
God said to Moses, " I am who I am." And he said, "Say this to the people of Israel, ' I am has sent me to you.'" (Exodus 3:14 ESV)
There doesn't need to be bells and whistles with God. You can choose to be awed by God or not but regardless of whether or not you choose to believe God is still the great I AM. It's beautiful and simple. I love how simple God can make the most complex of things become. I AM. Boom! The cross. Boom! Love God, Love people. Boom! This is where a child's faith is so beautiful. It doesn't get tangled and bogged down by a bunch of distractions. It just is. Just like God is God. I AM WHO I AM. Stop worrying!! I AM WHO I AM. The details, I have them covered. I AM WHO I AM. Your past, today, your future remember I AM WHO I AM. Easy. Simple. Powerful. Majestic. Awe inspiring. Five simple words that I daily forget. My performance today matters not because I serve I AM. My trollish energy levels matter not for I AM WHO I AM is walking with me today. WAKE UP O Sleeper and arise!!! Don't you know who you belong to?
When the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called to him out of the bush, "Moses, Moses!" And he said, "Here I am." (Exodus 3:4 ESV)
God how often do I not stop to turn aside to see? So many of your people have answered "Here I am" through out the beginning of time. How often do I fail to utter those three simple words or fail to turn aside simply because I loose sight that you are the great I AM?
Headache fun wanting to upgrade again. Looking like one of those beastly multi day headaches. Evil. Evil just like Satan's cement that was in the hair of the tender headed three year old. Thought we might have to shave her head tonight.
Minions were wild today. Boys still going at it. Could not get them to focus much today so did the fun parts of school and dumped the bookwork. Think that saved my sanity and probably theirs today.
Been feeling anxious about re-entry to church. Thankful to have shared that with community and got great feedback and what seems like a workable plan. It's running a marathon not running a sprint. I also have to remember that I have a partner in crime on Sunday's. Will take some time to wrap my head around that. It's been 8 years since that just hasn't been the case. Prior to that we both had our own gig going on Sunday. Going to church together or rather attending service together has never been part of our story.
Oh my goodness these chapters are so good. The Lord calls Moses to something huge and the exchange between Moses and I AM is almost comical. What is even more comical is that my prideful self used to read this and wonder where the heck Moses's faith was. What The Lord was asking Moses to do was huge!!! Moses had to push past the fear of his past on top of going to ask Pharaoh to let the Israelites go. The Great I AM was before Moses asking this request of him and Moses still got tangled up in the cares and the worries of this life in the moment. He looked at his mere mortality instead of God's infinite power and might. I do this every day on the simplest of tasks. I get caught up and tangled up in my fears, failures, frailties, ect rather than God's infinite power and might. It is so incredibly difficult to look beyond myself.
Moses is obedient and does what God tells him to do. He goes to the elders of the Israelites and goes to Pharaoh. His obedience is met with increased back breaking work for his people. This seems to make no sense! Moses did exactly what God told him to do and yet the results were not desirable to anybody but the Egyptians. That had to be so incredibly crushing. Yet God is setting the stage to make His power and might known to the world. It's so hard to push past the circumstances yet God is in the midst of the chaos even when nothing makes sense.