Wednesday, September 30, 2015

A Message From The Lord

1. We got a random package from Amazon amongst the other packages that have piled high on our porch today. Long range two way radios and smelling wafers that hunters use. After contacting Amazon we found out it was an anonymous gift. Obviously it's a message from the Lord that we need to move to Montana and our boys need to hunt with their father so we can live off the land.

2. Went to our local pocket park so kids could find things to identify for Botany. Once the weather gets a bit cooler I can totally see doing school often out at the park. Boys would have space to run and little girls would have places to play without destroying everything in our home.

3. Thankful for time tonight with some of my peeps.

4. I'd love to bring back the casting of lots.

Micah 3:
I think the first verse is talking about John the Baptist and Jesus but then I get lost and can't figure if it's at the same time talking about Jesus's second return or His first appearance. Must read commentary!

""I am the LORD, and I do not change. That is why you descendants of Jacob are not already destroyed."
‭‭Malachi‬ ‭3:6‬ ‭NLT‬‬


Thankful the Lord never changes!!

D


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Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Costco Crazy

Today I'm thankful for a friend who entered my word of Costco Crazy and saved my booty.

1. She was able to reach into my locked van and unlock doors which still contained my keys in the ignition. I've locked my keys in my car more than I can count. I even have a gun story of my hubs and I locking our keys in the car on the same day. #addtwinkies

2. She carried my toddler in the humid Texas "fall" with four boys in the Costco parking lot while I filled two gianormous carts full of groceries.

3. She saved my buns when I realized I hadn't unloaded the back of our van and there was no way I was going to be able to squeeze seven kids and all those groceries in the van.

Moral of the story: if you are going to go to Costco with a pack of unsocialized homeschool kids and no brain make sure to bring a friend who loves you along for the crazy ride.

Malachi 1-2:
The Lord is calling His People to the mat. They have been walking in their own ways and He's warning them to change:

1. Half hearted sacrifice - the people are offering defective animals as their sacrifices. They are no longer taking the best of their flocks but rather are offering up the weak rejected animals on the altar.

2. Corrupt priestly practices and instruction. The Levites are no longer teaching the law accurately and are corrupt and leading the people astray.

3. Unfaithfulness - men are going to the altar pleading with God to look on them with favor but the Lord refuses because they have been unfaithful to their wives and have been divorcing their spouses.

Going to bed pondering how I offer up the last remains of my days before the Lord and how unfaithful I can be. Thankful that God loves me regardless of many shortcomings.

D

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Monday, September 28, 2015

The Giver

Thankful to be lying on the couch resting while sweet hubs, the Giver, is with the kids at our local pocket park. The funk rolled up on me slowly today. I never fully woke up and been dragging all day but body aches and joint pain are jacking with me this afternoon. Crawling into bed is going to be my favorite part of the day.

Started the book The Giver on Sunday. Nice to just read a book for the fun of it.

Zechariah 11-14:
These chapters are fascinating and confusing all at the same time. It seems as if the chapters are skipping around in time. Need to read commentary to crack the code.

On another note, feeling a wave of shame and guilt come flooding in. Thankful to know my triggers and patterns and realize what I'm in need of is sleep! Right now littles not thinking this is the case!

D

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Sunday, September 27, 2015

The Bloodmoon

Well, I wouldn't have been upset if Jesus had come tonight. There's still time I reckon. The Bloodmoon is pretty spectacular. How awesome is God?

My thoughts on Jesus coming back:
1. Exciting yet there's part of me that is scared out of my mind. I know my God is the God who sees me BUT being face to face before the Lord makes my breath catch inside my chest.

2. Again reminded about how much time I waste on meaningless futile things. I have joked that I am indecisive because what if I make the wrong and the entire world comes to a screeching halt. Really in light of eternity all the silly things that pop up just need a simple decision and action plan. After all one day the world will come to an end and I will look back and wonder why I wasted so much darn time on stupid things.

3. I love all that God created. Well, I could do without spiders but goodness did looking at that moon make me stand in awe over who God is.

4. Tomorrow AM is going to be a booty whip since I have no lunches for PATH and I still need to get stuff together for it. Now that I'm in bed I'd rather just stay that way. Mudge will get me up at the crack of dawn anyway so I should be good.

5. Sweet afternoon watching a pretty awesome 13 year old be blessed. What a fantastic age.

6. My boys and their crazy antics. Send them to clean up their room which between the three of them should take 5 minutes. One finally pulled it together enough to clean after the knuckleheads got toothpaste everywhere. The bright side is since they have already destroyed our house and thrashed our carpets toothpaste on walls and carpet doesn't do much to incite much anger. I'm confident Mudge will never do such things.

Zechariah 10:
The Lord's loving compassion is so apparent in this chapter. His people have been lead stray by the leaders and God sees His people through the eyes of compassion. He knows the pain that comes from going astray. He longs to be our Shepherd.

Fading fast.

D


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Provision

So trying to keep Sunday a Sabbath is a lot more challenging than one would think. Keeping all the balls in the air during the week is impossible so the weekends are all about catching up so we don't live in utter chaos. Trying to catch up while in the midst of seven precious offspring is near impossible. I am thankful God was sweet in His provision and our house other than the boys room is picked up, all the dirty laundry is now clean and there is only one basket of clean laundry left to fold. I didn't get PATH prep done and need to go to the store tomorrow BUT I still feel like God provided for lots to get done today. Slowly but surely we'll get this Sabbath thing down. I know there's still heart changes that need to take place but I know He is faithful to change and to teach. The God who can move mountains can surely continue to do the work still needed to be done in our hearts till either He returns our we go to see Him.

The ball juggling while tired has lent itself to putting tasks above people. Kids were telling jokes tonight and I totally blew it. I was more focused on my to do list and watching the time get later and later. I need the Lord to help me snap out of it. This evening I tried to remember this past year and it all feels like a crazy blur. It feels like the army of locusts came and ravaged all that they could. I do feel like we are on an upward trajectory but there's no guarantee that's true. Life is full of challenges and we still have several laid out before us. I do trust that whatever may lie ahead of us the Lord will be in it with us.

I've been looking at our Bit the past several days and I'm just so thankful that the Lord preserved her life. Pertussis could have taken her out and yet the Lord chose to keep her here with us for now. I can't imagine our family without her. She brings so much joy to each of us. God's hand has truly been over each of these sweet Brownies. I don't want to miss the gift of today with them being wrapped up in stupid things like the dishes.

Zechariah 9:
Reminded of the great lengths the Lord goes to in order to rescue His people, even death on a cross. Thankful He was humble enough to come riding on a donkey AND will come back again in triumph.

Come quickly Lord Jesus!

D

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Friday, September 25, 2015

Just Call Me Meemaw In The Evening

It feels like it is 1am. I'd be perfectly happy snoozing right now. Friday night sure has changed over the years.

Good day. Got a lot of school busted out first thing and joined a group of fun friends to air out the unsocialized homeschooled kids. Was going to mount an expedition to Costco but thought better of it. Two exhausted parents going into a Costco trip with a baby who promised to scream all the way there and back in traffic sounded crazy. Bad crazy. Settled for frozen pizza and a movie instead. So glad we did!

Zechariah 7-8:
""This is what the LORD of Heaven's Armies says: In those days ten men from different nations and languages of the world will clutch at the sleeve of one Jew. And they will say, 'Please let us walk with you, for we have heard that God is with you.'""
‭‭Zechariah‬ ‭8:23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

God I so want my life to be about you. Help me to continue to die to self so that others can see you.

D

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Thursday, September 24, 2015

Shut It

1. My brain is broken. Keep forgetting things!!! I know this happens after I have offspring but it freaks me out none the less. Somebody needs to jump start my brain!

2. I'm tired of being a jerk to my kids. I really need to work on just keeping my mouth shut. My sweet kids made us breakfast and coffee this morning and I couldn't just enjoy it because all I could focus on was the mess they had made already. As things feel more chaotic around me I've found I need things more clean and orderly. I don't want to be a barking slave driver though either. They are kids and they are messy disorganized beasts just like me!

3. I hate this week. It's been drudgery and I've been a turd. I hate not enjoying my kids. I know not every moment with them is not going to be enjoyable but it's been a royal butt kicker this week. I'm pretty sure it's because we're doing language arts this week. It's ruining everything.

4. The real issue is probably my lack of putting first things first. I've given my fumes to this lately and so fumes is what I continue to run on.

5. Poor Mudge has had a gross goopy cold. Ready to not be woken up by a shot of adrenaline from a snorking baby who can't breath well. I think his snot could cement bricks together. Thankfully he's been okay during the day and his gross gooey eyes are finally starting to clear up. A goopy cold on top of man gas and reflux is the pits.

Zechariah 5&6:
"Yes, he will build the Temple of the LORD. Then he will receive royal honor and will rule as king from his throne. He will also serve as priest from his throne, and there will be perfect harmony between his two roles.'"
‭‭Zechariah‬ ‭6:13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Come quickly Lord Jesus!

D


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Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

I've often wondered where our place is to fight against abortion. Today is Day 1 of 40 days of prayer to end abortion and it's got me really thinking again on the ways God would desire for our family to take a stand against abortion. I don't know if it's nutty with my clan but I'd really like to take on an hour or two of prayer at our local 40 Days of Prayer Campaign. I've heard the most amazing stories come from this peaceful movement to just pray. That's a tangible thing we can do as a family. But what about on the day to day?

I know it sounds crazy but I do think God wooing our families heart to "not fear pregnancy" is a piece of the puzzle for us. Really the birth control movement has helped fuel the abortion industry. The thought of taking part of that again in any way does make me want to vomit in my mouth a little. Even now as I wrestle with what seems to be my fertility coming back already I'm convicted about my attitudes. I wouldn't be upset to one day have another Brownie but anytime soon sounds overwhelming and poor timing. I've been convicted this week that I'm willing to embrace the gift of life under circumstances that I approve of. My children are beautiful daily agents of my sanctification and I've cried over the discovery of several of them. Now I could cry at the thought of them not being in our family. In my flesh I surely would have passed on the blessing and gift of several of them if given the choice in the moment because of my sheer short sightedness. When circumstances haven't been optimal for whatever reasons I surely would have rejected the gift. I thank Jesus that He has chosen to graciously bless us despite my ignorance.

This week has kicked my tail. I confessed that if I was still a smoker homeschooling would surely lead to an increase of chain smoking. Yesterday happy hour sounded like paradise. This week has been hard, incredibly stinking hard. I've internally laugh/cries that homeschooling makes me want to drink and smoke. The truth is my flesh is being squeezed in the craziest of ways. God has provided but it hasn't been the abundant provision I so desire in my flesh. I CRAVE COMFORT and this week I've stood face to face with dying to self. It's been ugly. What's being squeezed out of me is gross. The truth is I'm so damn selfish. I want to control my own little world. This leads me back to wanting to control IF and WHEN I have kids. Frankly if given the opportunity I'd probably try to control every circumstance I possibly could.

I do keep coming back to the same things. 1. I want things to be easy. 2. I want abundant provision so that I can have the illusion of trusting without really having to trust or rely on anyone's strength or help other than my own. 3. My circumstances determines how much I desire to trust 4. I'm a selfish beast 5. I'm so thankful for the grace of Christ Jesus who bore my sin on the cross and who continues to work hard at finishing the good work that He started.

Zechariah 3-4:
I'm pretty clueless here. The two chosen ones? Need to hit some commentary. I do love the imagery of Jeshua's dirty soiled clothing being replaced with clean clothing despite what the accuser tried to say.

D



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Tuesday, September 22, 2015

No Guts No Glory

Raising offspring is not for the faint of heart. Really itching for some land and space to do school other than the kitchen table. Struggling with wanting things and yet knowing I don't need these things. But also stuck in the reality of trying to homeschool four kids with screeching littles running around, kids who constantly hum or buzz even while not talking, a small gaggle of kids with ADD and most with the added Hyperactivity, boy bodies that simply can not stay still and a stupid yoga ball that is supposed to solve all my problems but actually makes the adults in the home stark raving mad!! Needless to say I was over being sanctified before lunch. However, we got our first full meal deal day of school in including language arts AND nobody died. I do think grammar and writing just might kill me though.

The eye of the storm today was the last midwife appointment with the amazing Kim. I found out Mudge the Pudge is packing it on nicely and is nearly 11lbs. He's gained 4 whopping pounds already! No wonder why he looks huge to me. I also found out that despite the chaos around me and coffee my blood pressure is low. After some research I did find out hypothyroidism can cause low blood pressure, brain fog, aches and pains and could be why weight likes to stick to my bones for the fourth trimester. I put the pieces together post midwife visit though so hopefully will remember to chat with her about it tomorrow. I've been looking up Hashimotos Disease and wondering if something like that could be at play. Autoimmune disease is present in every women on my side of the family. The reality is that I am much more a Persyn than a Salazar genetically so one of these days I too will probably hit the autoimmune jackpot.

Zechariah 1-2:

"Be silent before the LORD, all humanity, for he is springing into action from his holy dwelling.""
‭‭Zechariah‬ ‭2:13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Amen!!!

D

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Monday, September 21, 2015

Todazzzzzzzzz

So obviously I'm having an issue sending these out lately because I fall asleep in the process.

Back to bullet points.

1. Thankful for dinner provided by a friend. I ate the best snickledoodle that I've ever eaten tonight.

2. Walked into a clean home. Could have cried. So thankful.

3. My son was asked by another kid in class why he couldn't do his math and he replied by saying because he wasn't so smart and then said something funny and moved on. Humor to mask the pain. Wonder where he got that from? My heart aches for him. Tonight I asked him about it and I could see him trying to keep tears at bay while confessing he did feel dumb a lot of the time. My heart sank even more. He then went on to explain how his mind gets mixed up. Going to figure out what is going on be it dyslexia, dysgraphia, ADD or all of those things. In this situation I do think a name or a "label" would be helpful so he knows he's not alone and that he's not dumb.

4. Hit a big fat wall tonight. I think my own exhaustion mingled with knowing Noah could hit his wall at any moment lead to needing kids in bed ASAP. Hate that.

Haggai:
Wish I had something great out of this tonight but nothing huge sticking out. I am pondering building my house before building the Lord's. I know this has many implications.

D

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Bullet Points

1. Brain fog! Ugh!!! I feel like I'm constantly trying to think through thick mud.

2. I really am enjoying the rhythm of our Sunday's. Church, rest and choir. Thankful.

3. Found out that my sweet friend blessed us with yet another month of a clean house. My hubs and I are floored in the most incredible of ways. Really left speechless over the generosity and blessing.

4. My Mudge is still struggling with a cold and I'm hoping its reached its peak today. Poor kiddo seems pretty miserable. He feels slightly warm but I don't think he has an official fever. With all the funk going around though I'll be a happy camper once he's on the mend.

5. Being in bed is my new favorite time of day. Still have stuff to get ready for PATH tomorrow but will have to get up early. Zonked.

Habakkuk & Zephaniah
So many great verses. Love this one:

"For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.""
‭‭Zephaniah‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

D




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Sunday, September 20, 2015

Walter the Farting Dog

1. My two littles tried to rival Walter today.

2. Fun watching Kinder kids play soccer especially when one of those kids is mine.

3. Love watching my hubs coach. He is so good with those kids.

4. Mudge McPudge has a cold which has made nights extra special lately. It feels like 2am. Super grumpy.

5. The Bit took a late long winters sleep and will probably be up till 2am. Love that crazy girl!

6. The brain fog is really driving me nuts.

---------
Well completely fell asleep while reading. Good times!

Hab 1: love the dialogue Hab and the Lord have back and forth. I want to hear the Lord more than I do now.

"The LORD replied, "Look around at the nations; look and be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it."
‭‭Habakkuk‬ ‭1:5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Love!

Zzzzzzzz
D

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Friday, September 18, 2015

Not Tonight

Coming up on one year since things got flipped upside down for us. Need to take time in the near future to reflect on this. Tonight however is not the night.

Read Nahum 1-3. Thankful that this verse is true.

"The LORD is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in him."
‭‭Nahum‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

God is good all the time. All the time God is good.

D


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Thursday, September 17, 2015

Peepers Strikes Again

Well our peep free streak has ended. Poor Peepers had a rough afternoon and evening. I think his reflux has kept him from settling in for a long winters nap the last two days and the poor kid gets over stimulated and exhausted. Over stimulated at our house? What's the deal with that? Thankful he is finally sleeping peacefully now.

Laughed this morning by a dear friends email about my tiredness for years. My oldest turns ten in February so maybe my hubs and I will have been exhausted for an entire decade. Really though I've been exhausted way before then. I just had a better ability to get caught up. I've always been poor at self care especially when sleep is involved. Insomnia can be one of my biggest foes and myself really. Much rather be exhausted by minions.

My children have indeed turned my world upside down in the most amazing of ways. I wish I was fully resigned to give my all to the cause of raising them. Although they are slowly but surely squashing the selfishness out of me, there is still so much more dying to self that needs to be done. Thankful the Lord has chosen seven amazing little people to be part of the daily sanctification process.

I'm disheartened by the amount of funds going to Planned Parenthood today. The selling of little hearts and brains isn't enough to stop our country for worshipping the idol of sex without the consequences of children. It's now really out there that what Planned Parenthood is doing is not simply removing a blob of tissue but rather a human baby. Yet it matters not because no woman should be saddle with having to give life to a baby. Instead lets crush and destroy a child as well as the woman's very soul. Oh America you have fallen to such unthinkable depths of decay.

Micah 3-8:
Solemn tonight as it's hard to read about the judgement to come to Israel when I know judgement is headed our way.

This is my prayer tonight as I imagine what it will be like when Jesus does return.

"No, O people, the LORD has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God."
‭‭Micah‬ ‭6:8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

D

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Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Toddlers Sleep Anywhere



Sent this picture to some friends and got a picture back of one of my friends own sleeping tot. If only they would nap when they are supposed to. Stinkers!

I pretty much feel like the above picture. Long day but finally got it all in. Transitions were a beast. The hurray for school has most definitely worn off and my minions would much rather play. I do love the creativity in their play, literally they were putting on a play, but I have to earn my keep somehow. I am trying to get the fun learning in first and keeping the book work for last. Love seeing their little lights turn on and embrace learning with much joy. Math and handwriting don't seem to bring as much joy. I cling to a story from a Momma at PATH and her daughter's struggle with Math. After talking to her hubs they came to the conclusion that they needed to lay off and change the approach because God created Math and therefore it should be enjoyed. It worked because their daughter is passionate about math now. I love the thought that anything there is to learn should be enjoyed since the Lord created it. Maybe everything except language arts should be enjoyed. :) Overall I'm so thankful for the daily grind called homeschooling. I most certainly wouldn't have chosen it for myself but thankful God has chosen it for our family for at least this season. Must always keep my hands wide open to what the Lord may desire to do in our lives. Love these crazies and glad they love their crazy Momma!

I'm kinda over the constant brain fog I've got rocking these days. Oh beautiful sleep deprivation.

I'm thankful to report that Mr. Peepers is making a lot less peeps these days. As long as he's constantly being held he's pretty much a dream baby these days. Constantly being held is the part that's difficult. Even in an Ergo or sling one still gets upset when squashed by another sibling and other siblings get frustrated at having to share a lap. Thankful for the hands of loving friends who are willing to hold a baby even when peeping. 

Micah 1-2:
Reminded by these chapters just how much God aches when we choose to be stiff necked. Oh how I must have grieved His heart and yet He still chose to pursue me and woo my heart to Him. 

"Your leader will break out and lead you out of exile, out through the gates of the enemy cities, back to your own land. Your king will lead you; the LORD himself will guide you.""
‭‭Micah‬ ‭2:13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Crazy thankful that my King will lead me and guide me.

D


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Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Hagweed

Wow, exhaustion has just hit me like a ton of bricks. Overview of the day:
1. Peepers would not sleep out of my arms today which is a problem when two little girls so desperately want to be in my lap also.

2. Least productive homeschool day so far. Head stuck on friends which made my heart ache. Peepers in my arms and me just plain exhausted.

3. My allergies are beating me to a bloody pulp. My system feels so incredibly rundown and out of whack.

4. Thankful for God's mercy and grace. I'm in desperate need of it.

5. Thankful for the people the Lord has placed in my life. I've been so richly blessed.

Micah 1 eyes aren't going to stay open for two chapters.

D
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Monday, September 14, 2015

Unexpected

Good day but super tired. Hoping my brain will shut off. First day of coop went pretty well. Loved hearing people's stories while rocking my sweet Mudge. I love people's stories. Kids were so pumped this morning and super excited talking about their day this afternoon. The bigs even started their homework with incredibly happy hearts. My classes were rather unexpected. Two truths and a lie went wheels off this morning. Definitely a different group of kids this semester. But proven the point to myself that two truths and a lie can bring out a lot of info. Info that's incredibly beneficial to me. Suckers! There was a burpathon in my math class. I'm torn seeing my boy totally being a cut up in class with a couple other knucklehead boys and yet at the same time enjoy watching him be so successful at friendships. He does have the gift of humor and shock value. Love that crazy kid!

Gretchen has fallen off the roof and with it a swirl of emotions. I've enjoyed her delayed return since kidlet number four. A lot easier to trust God and not get wrapped up in keeping my eyes focused on circumstances around me when circumstances line up in such a way where it's easy to trust. The irony of Flo coming this evening is that today I told my story of God telling me "Don't Fear Pregnancy" and heard a story of how one momma went from not wanting kids at all to trusting God completely with her family size. Here I am where the rubber meets the road.

---
Whoops forgot to send. Psalm 127.

D





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Sunday, September 13, 2015

His Mercies Are New Each. Morning

God's been incredibly gracious to me Sunday mornings by allowing me to wake up feeling refreshed even though sleep has not been adequate. This is not an everyday occurrence so I see the sweet provision in it. I so desperately want Sunday to look different than the rest of the week. I know there will be scurrying around this evening as kids pack bags and make their lunch for PATH but for the most part all the "work" that must be done is complete. I will struggle with not touching laundry today. I feel somehow though that letting it be is just another opportunity to trust Him for provision. That's what part of the Sabbath is about anyway. Cease striving and working and see how He provides. I'm horrible at upkeep and I know the work done on Saturday to keep Sunday set apart will grow tiresome but I pray that this is something the Lord will help me to persevere in. I want to trust Him with my everything in everything.

--------
Last two days have felt busy which to me is no longer restful. Everything today was good stuff but look forward to getting our low key Sunday back next week. Church was good today. After having me in his class for several weeks my middle was ready to go to class by himself. My heart felt the small victory of him running down the steps to join his class when they were dismissed from service.

Many thoughts about Jonah and service today but I'm tapped out. Read this morning and thankful for the reminder of God's amazing love for us first thing.

D



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Saturday, September 12, 2015

Not Ready

Not ready for my Mudge to stop sounding like a chipmunk and unfurl and stop being a gumby newborn. Six weeks tomorrow and he's loosing his just exited fresh look quickly. Dang the days are so insanely long but they fly by way too fast. Hate it but thankful for the time we do have.

Lots I needed to knock out today so that tomorrow could be Sabbath. I prayed for provision to get everything done. Didn't get laundry folded or even started in that direction but part of the provision is knowing when to just let things go. The baskets full of laundry aren't going anywhere so why sweat it? I do love our couches used as actual couches instead of laundry holders but why change status quo. 

I am freaking exhausted so going to wrap this up. Already excited about the thought of sleeping in next Saturday. 

Rocked by news of a couple we know who has divorced. Aches my heart. I know it especially aches the Lord. Lord let me not grow complacent in my marriage. Help me to love my husband well.

Obadiah:
"You have been deceived by your own pride because you live in a rock fortress and make your home high in the mountains. 'Who can ever reach us way up here?' you ask boastfully."
‭‭Obadiah‬ ‭1:3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Lord please help me remember that everything I have comes from you and you alone. Please remove the stench of pride that resides in my heart. I am prideful Lord. Let me boast in nothing more than in You alone. 

God may our country not become like Edom. Please change the hearts of those who live in our nation. Give them eyes to see you. Please don't remove all those who possess wisdom in our land.

D
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Friday, September 11, 2015

Happy Boy

My oldest male offspring just came home from a birthday party with two of his oldest friends and he is fired up. So thankful for those boys and their families. So fun to see my kids over the moon fired up.

Missing my grandparents something fierce. I think of them often and thankful for all the little and big ways they poured into me growing up. Thankful some of those things will be passed along to my kiddos even though most of my kids never even met either.

Mudge was a dream baby for most of the day. He went through a grumpy spell this evening but to be expected. Considering getting him adjusted. Been reading up on chiropractic care for babies and it's pretty interesting. If it helps get my Mudgey Boy some relief I'm all for it.

My hubs bought 40 to 60 thousand books today. Pretty cool how it just fell into his lap. Praying God will provide the labor, space and time needed to output them. Praying for creative ways that will bless to get rid of the not so good books.

Amos 7-8:
Fading fast....

D

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Thursday, September 10, 2015

It's The Little Things

Mudge has been peeping and restless since 2am. Needless to say, I am so excited about the prospect of bed. Mudge has started cooing and smiled at me today so despite my sleep deprived mind I'm so wrapped around this kids finger it's not even funny. Oh what a comfort this sweet little boy is to me.

School is interesting with my littles especially with a colicky babe but it's going pretty well despite the crazy. I have no clue how things are getting done so fast. I still need to add in Math for one and language arts for the two bigs but overall we are finishing before 10pm which is awesome.

-----------
Big Mudge and his mini me Baby Mudge have done me in. Frazzled from lack of sleep and from the cries of a poor sweet babe with a mean mean tummy.

Amos 6-7:
Worldly prosperity is not necessarily good for us. We forget who truly is the one who provides.

D

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Wednesday, September 09, 2015

Scratchtastic

Something has to be high today because I want to reach under my skin and scratch everywhere. Rolling around on Brillo pads sounds nice.

Realized today that getting through each school day requires a mountain of patience that I simply do not possess on my own. Overall things are going well considering the two smalls which are quite a handful. It's hard though. I wouldn't trade it for anything but even now as I'm typing I'm ready to fall out.

Amos 3-5
The Lord has tried to get His people's attention in many ways but ultimately they continue to refuse to return to Him. Their acts of sacrifice and hymns is nothing but lip service. No heart.

Zzzzzz
D

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Tuesday, September 08, 2015

A Day In Pictures

1. I can't believe this happened today.

Monday, September 07, 2015

School Daze

Starting school tomorrow. Don't feel ready but I don't think it matters much. The toddler tornado and mr. Peepers are going to make for a rather interesting year. Thankful for those two and all the rest of my crazy crew.

Thankful for sun and friends walking this crazy life with us. Loved talk about jubilee and age of accountability and Jesus coming back. I am freaked out about being face to face with God someday. I will not be on my knees bowing I'll be flat on my face probably trembling. Excited and terrified.

Lots of thoughts again in my head that I can't sort out. Parents in Houston dropped off their 2yr old and 8 month old at a fire station and told the firefighters they didn't want them anymore. It's painful how selfish we can be. There's part of me though that thinks at least they are honest. At least they got them somewhere safe, gave them life and didn't try an afterbirth abortion. I am saddened by how little children are valued in our self centered culture.

Read Joel 2-3 this morning. Interesting read in light of everything going on these days. Come Lord Jesus!

D



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Sunday, September 06, 2015

Boom Crash

Ran into a wall tonight. I'm tired and grumpy and had no desire to deal with bedtime shenanigans. Bigs in bed, smalls up which is irritating but at least they are fairly quiet. I need a few leprechauns or elves to clean our kitchen and put th e girls to bed so I can crash into bed. Dave Matthews song Crash would have been a whole lot cooler if the lyrics were crash into bed.

This grumpalumpa doesn't have much. Bella crashed into a card carousel today knocking cards everywhere. Sweet people jumped in instantly to help pick up the chaos. Kinda blown away by it all. Most often it's gawking and shameful looks.

Again lots of stuff on my mind. Thoughts about refugees and much hurting around the world that is so out of sight and out of mind to me. How much answering will we have to do for our busy rushing around concerned about first world problems.

The other thing is wondering how I've abused grace by not abstaining from things stained by the world. God desires His people to be set apart for the evil culture around them. I wonder how much of the culture I'm embracing and shouldn't be. I don't need to up my standards to be accepted but how much staining do I get from the world by being apart of it more than I should be? Am I truly living a life that is set apart of the Lord and living out my life for His glory. Doubtful. I often forget what this life is truly about.

Phone about to die and off to read Joel. Thankful the Lord restores what the locusts have eaten. He doesn't have to and yet He does.

D

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Saturday, September 05, 2015

Zzzzz

Officially out of gas. Bfast prep for tomorrow and hopefully for at least another morning ran longer than anticipated. Good talk with my hubs during it though. Tired thinking through starting school on Monday. May ditch those plans and start Tuesday instead.

Lots of thoughts tonight but again too tanked to put words to them.

Still need to finish Hosea so I'm out. Thankful our God is good!

D

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Friday, September 04, 2015

Mil Winnies

Peepers peeped a lot last night. Poor kid. I seem to have gotten the bug my mil brought with her from Amarillo.

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So much for making first things first. Feeling better from the MIL Winnies and even got a date night in thanks to a sweet friend. Thankful she's not afraid of our pile-a-zoo. Date night wasn't exciting but I'm thankful to be with the one I love and be okay with both of us being tired and having a slightly fussy third wheel. Life is no fairytale but it's good, oh so good on Team Brown.

Hosea 9 & 10:
This is my food for thought for today -
"How prosperous Israel is— a luxuriant vine loaded with fruit. But the richer the people get, the more pagan altars they build. The more bountiful their harvests, the more beautiful their sacred pillars."
‭‭Hosea‬ ‭10:1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

D



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Thursday, September 03, 2015

It's Kinda Like Cleaning House With Nine Kids

Right now everyday feels like a week long. Today three sweet ladies showed up at my house to clean it and I was not informed today was amazing clean house day. Needless to say unprepared means kid stuff everywhere. I also had two extra sweet boys with us so imagine trying to clean house with 13 bodies crammed into one 1600 sqft house. Needless to say I think we scared them and they were here for under an hour.

This is the perfect illustration for how life has been right now. It's been good. Who doesn't like their house to be cleaned?! But it's been kinda chaotic and frankly it's been like trying to clean house with nine kids running around. Some days are easier to roll with than others. Thankfully today for whatever reason I was able to roll with it more. However, by 9pm I was done and just wanted shrieking toddlers and big kids asleep or at least out of my room.

As crazy as these days can be I'm so thankful for them. Thankful for training bigs, being exhausted by wild toddlers, watching my kids play with neighbors and other sweet friends God has provided, rocking babies and snuggling bigs, middles and littles. One day they will be off in different directions. One doing this, one doing that, one off at college, one at their after school job. This time can be crazy but it's oh so short. They grow up way to fast. They grow up from being sweet little babies to amazing little people. It's been fun watching my oldest ones grow and mature and find the things that make them tick. I love my crazy crazy pile-a-zoo and the immense blessing it is to me. Thankful for my hubs who loves me and these kiddos so very well. Healing balm to my heart to see him love our oldest girl and watch her blossom due to his love for her. I know it sounds cheesy but so thankful my girls won't be out looking to fill a Daddy sized hole in their hearts.

Hosea 7-8:
Chewing on this verse tonight:
"Worshiping foreign gods has sapped their strength, but they don't even know it. Their hair is gray, but they don't realize they're old and weak."
‭‭Hosea‬ ‭7:9‬ ‭NLT‬‬


What worldly things do I follow that sap my strength? What idols do I hold onto that have caused me to grow weak?

D


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It's Kinda Like Cleaning House With Nine Kids

Right now everyday feels like a week long. Today three sweet ladies showed up at my house to clean it and I was not informed today was amazing clean house day. Needless to say unprepared means kid stuff everywhere. I also had two extra sweet boys with us so imagine trying to clean house with 13 bodies crammed into one 1600 sqft house. Needless to say I think we scared them and they were here for under an hour.

Life has kinda

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Wednesday, September 02, 2015

Bring On The Cheese!

Today might have been Noah's most chill days. He was more restless this evening but more typical Brownie fashion. My conclusion is that cheese cubes are magical. That might be all I eat from here on out. Not really but it would be funny if his gut issues were from queso detox. Mmmmm queso.

A sweet friend dropped off magical probiotics so hopefully Noah, Bit and I will have better guts soon. Bit has a rash that I'm not fired up about. I've put off making her an appointment with a more wholistic dr knowing all the testing may be hard on the budget right now. It takes awhile to get in anyway so might as well at least get something on the books and pray for provision. God provides I've seen it over and over again. Heart breaks for those who truly are restricted and limited to proper health care due to finances. We are so stinking blessed. I really do take that for granted in so many ways. Grieved over the struggles of the real poor tonight. Oh how I get so wrapped up in my first world problems. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about how success truly is not good for us. Or rather how success leads to prideful self reliance. I think the abundance of stuff, entertainment, and insane busyness in America really is a hinderance as well. There is so much beauty in simplicity. The "blessings" of this world are not always the best for us. 

I don't know where my head is going in all of this but definitely seeing the value in simplicity. The beauty of the Lord stripping things away. The process of stripping and sanctification is so incredibly painful but it yields beautiful results. 

Fading fast but longing for something different than what this world has to offer. Come quickly Lord Jesus.

Hosea 3-6:
God's faithful love in the midst of our unfaithfulness truly is hard for me to fully grasp.

O to grace how great a debtor 
daily I'm constrained to be! 
Let thy goodness, like a fetter, 
bind my wandering heart to thee. 
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, 
prone to leave the God I love; 
here's my heart, O take and seal it, 
seal it for thy courts above.
 

D

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Re: Oh Cheese!

Amen to number 6!if you get amin today can we chat àbout order? Call when you have a sec.


On Tue, Sep 1, 2015, 11:22 PM Desi Brown <desibrown@gmail.com> wrote:
Peepers has been up peeping since 3am. Thankfully he started settling in late this afternoon. I ate cheese cubes tonight without thinking and hoping this doesn't set off another round of tummy funk in Noah. At this point his stomach is already jacked so surely some cheese can't be all bad. Considering doing the elimination diet. It's easy turkey and potatoes salt and pepper. My only concern is being super grouchy from lack of sleep and food restrictions. But it could possibly start a chain reaction in a good way. I don't know, I'm too tired to think straight.

1. Frustrated today that we might not be able to get my son tested for dyslexia at Scottish Rite. Wanted to cry angry hot tears and throw myself a pity party at life being "hard". Silliness. Great is Thy Faithfulness popped into my head. Gods got this. I believe He opened our eyes to see and I also believe He will lead us on a path that's best for our son. God loves him so much more than we ever could. What I had placed my "hope" in for answers has changed. But God is good and hoping in Him is so much better.

2. A sweet neighbor keeps bringing us treats. My hubs asked why and the response was that they are just so thankful that we have embraced the blessing of children. Thankful for that kind of encouragement.

3. Thankful to celebrate the upcoming birth of a sweet baby and his or her momma. So good to see faces I don't get to see often.

4. Struggling poorly with body image issues. Feel like a fat lard and bummed that my post thirty trend of fourth trimester weight gain has held true. Bleh! Need to remember that my value and my worth is not determined by a number on a scale or on a pair of pants.

5. Today was rough but looking forward to getting some order up in this hood. Still lots of school prep left but might just need to be okay with good enough.

6. Really need to make the Sombrero Sisterhood happen. Salsa anyone?

7. Really loving this sweet baby. I had hoped for an easy baby and he's not that right now but I love this little guy to pieces. It's good for me to learn to readjust my expectations. Hard to find the bright side of brain fog induced by lack of sleep but I'm sure God will use it somehow. I'm in the weeds big time but I'm so crazy thankful. This dude is already getting big fast!

Hoping to keep my eyes open long enough to read Hosea. Bummed to mail it in yet again but this is what I got right now.

D


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Tuesday, September 01, 2015

Oh Cheese!

Peepers has been up peeping since 3am. Thankfully he started settling in late this afternoon. I ate cheese cubes tonight without thinking and hoping this doesn't set off another round of tummy funk in Noah. At this point his stomach is already jacked so surely some cheese can't be all bad. Considering doing the elimination diet. It's easy turkey and potatoes salt and pepper. My only concern is being super grouchy from lack of sleep and food restrictions. But it could possibly start a chain reaction in a good way. I don't know, I'm too tired to think straight.

1. Frustrated today that we might not be able to get my son tested for dyslexia at Scottish Rite. Wanted to cry angry hot tears and throw myself a pity party at life being "hard". Silliness. Great is Thy Faithfulness popped into my head. Gods got this. I believe He opened our eyes to see and I also believe He will lead us on a path that's best for our son. God loves him so much more than we ever could. What I had placed my "hope" in for answers has changed. But God is good and hoping in Him is so much better.

2. A sweet neighbor keeps bringing us treats. My hubs asked why and the response was that they are just so thankful that we have embraced the blessing of children. Thankful for that kind of encouragement.

3. Thankful to celebrate the upcoming birth of a sweet baby and his or her momma. So good to see faces I don't get to see often.

4. Struggling poorly with body image issues. Feel like a fat lard and bummed that my post thirty trend of fourth trimester weight gain has held true. Bleh! Need to remember that my value and my worth is not determined by a number on a scale or on a pair of pants.

5. Today was rough but looking forward to getting some order up in this hood. Still lots of school prep left but might just need to be okay with good enough.

6. Really need to make the Sombrero Sisterhood happen. Salsa anyone?

7. Really loving this sweet baby. I had hoped for an easy baby and he's not that right now but I love this little guy to pieces. It's good for me to learn to readjust my expectations. Hard to find the bright side of brain fog induced by lack of sleep but I'm sure God will use it somehow. I'm in the weeds big time but I'm so crazy thankful. This dude is already getting big fast!

Hoping to keep my eyes open long enough to read Hosea. Bummed to mail it in yet again but this is what I got right now.

D


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