The song Doxology specifically by Jaden Lavik has been stuck in my head the past couple weeks. We are doing hymn study this year and it's the hymn of the month for us. Can't express in words how much it has ministered to my soul the past couple weeks.
Even in the midst of my melancholy funk the words "praise God from whom all blessings flow" has repeated over and over in my head. Praising God has been difficult the past couple of weeks. A deep weariness and extreme exhaustion has set in and clouded things. It's been hard to press on and find the good in the midst of thick heavy exhaustion and weariness.
Yet this week I've had renewed hope that spring is indeed coming. Unfortunately I've been too crazy exhausted to express it. This week a friend send me part of a liturgy. I could be confused on the terms but I think that's right. Regardless, I knew the very thing that would heal my heavy and burdened heart. Setting foot into church once again is exactly what my heart needed and the Lord so gently and lovingly showed that to me. He didn't beat me over the head or use guilt and shame. Instead He beckoned me with His love and mercy.
"I know you are hurting. I can heal those wounds. I know your heart is discouraged. Come to me and I'll give you eyes to see".
It was pouring this morning. Not a great day to get back on the saddle and ride to church. One boy's zeal for church today is the encouragement we needed. We needed the encouragement. We forgot car seats had been removed, and it was not just Portland style raining it was pouring. The Bit scream and wailed and begged to stay home. I laughed at God being funny and we pressed on.
I was reminded of my Catholic roots this morning. Not Southside San Antonio Catholic roots but fancy Northside Catholic. The sermon was fantastic and as the offertory song played I almost completely lost it. I saw for the first time ever the beauty of the awkward imperfection of the body of Christ. The expression of worship may differ greatly but in church congregations across the globe there are my brothers and my sisters in Christ. One day the awkwardness will disappear and we will all worship the Throne of the Lamb in unison with hearts as one. I simply can not wait for that day. Until then I can rejoice in the beautiful awkward imperfection of the Bride of Christ.
Since I was little it was ingrained in me that one church was right and another was wrong. One church was better than another. This carried on into adulthood. One church is dead while another is thriving and alive. I do indeed believe there apostate churches who do not preach the gospel. But for those who proclaim the gospel wholeheartedly its a shame that often churches major in the minors and agreements that don't much matter in the long run cause division. The truth is there is not a single man who can fully grasp the mind of God. We simply lack the capacity to fully grasp all who the Lord is and all that He intended and intends. How many quarrels and fights could be avoided among us if we would all simply embrace humility. But alas, like the pastor said today we are so very beastly. Yet beside our beastly hearts and often our distain for one another the Bride of Christ is called His beloved. It's hard to fathom that such a ragtag collective group of ragamuffins are heirs to the throne. His love truly is extravagant.
I can't seem to stay away from Romans 12 these days. It's so crazy good. Loved these verses in light of today.
"For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others."
Romans 12:4-5 NIV
I'm so thankful for so many things today. I've mourned the Lord destroying my church framework. But I can see now just how flawed it truly was. Thankful that He is building something beautiful.
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