Been in a pretty hefty melancholy funk. I shouldn't be surprised. If chosen to hand anger over to the Lord and when I've been given "pretty invitations to begrudge" I've chosen to lay those down. It's not perfect and I know rage is not a difficult emotion for me to conjure up. Without anger to prop me up deep discouragement and sadness have entered in.
I've been wondering why this final blow or sweeping of the leg has occurred. The last couple days I've been reflecting on why. I think the framework was completely smashed to bits so that I couldn't try to sneak back in the back door. I'm left with a concrete slab and it's up to the Lord to rebuild it. Ironically the very thing that will start the rebuilding process is the very thing I do not want to do. There's much fear and trembling moving forward. I feel like I totally missed the boat and I fear making the same mistake. Yet perfect love casts out all fear and I feel hope rising. Praying for hope to rise for my dear friends who have also been in a painful season. I know their hearts know the pains of soul crushing discouragement and weariness so thick it feels as if it can pull you under. Father may hope rise for these dear ones.
Love this chapter. Seriously can't get enough.
Needed to read this verse after seeing a comment on the FB written by a proclaiming Christian who wished nobody complaining about prayer would complain as their teeth were smashed on the way to hell. I think reading other comments like it contributed to my funk this week. I'm so sad by the way we treat each other. It's one thing for those who are not believers to treat others poorly but when self professing Christians do it I'm reminded why there are people repulsed by Christians. Too much heartache this week.
"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse."
Romans 12:14 NIV
God help me to do this. It's by your grace alone that anybody can.
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