I need to learn to shut my mouth. Thought this week was going to be a magical cake walk with hubs being considering it was only going to be five easy breezy days. Bahahahaha!!! Actually it wouldn't have been horrible and a pretty easy stint if I didn't get hit with this stupid upper respiratory funk. I feel like a fat elephant is sitting on my chest and the constant hacking which causes gagging is wearing me out. My sinuses hurt and I feel so dang exhausted and just can't function. Last night I scratched together a handful of hours of sleep between the hacking and the angry Mudge. My milk is drying up and he's angry. Today as extra fun I ended up with a lovely case of the Winnie's and spent a lot of time in the bathroom. And our dishwasher decided to break and I just want to scream at the sky. I know none of it is a big deal but I'm so exhausted that I can't break out of the discouraged funk. And I was so grumpy tonight. I hate that because it was all me and not my kids.
I'm so weary of running on fumes and having no emotional or physical margin. I want more than just enough! I want abundance!! Really I know my heart is wicked and thrives on being self reliant. I don't want to live in the land of brokenness anymore. My heart sucks. So thankful He loves me even when I'm a grumpy discouraged asshole.
On another note, watching a documentary about whales with kids and it's talking about the promiscuous whales with huge testicles. So tonight I'm thankful for internal laughs with the Lord. Oh my. Here comes the whale penis. Largest in the animal kingdom. Glad I've had that talk ad nauseam. Oh my. Hope whale porn doesn't harm my children.
Thankful for impromptu trips to the park, beautiful weather and friends to share it with.
Thankful for McD's sausage muffins.
Thankful for seven funny, loud, creative, impulsive, wonderful kids
Thankful for running water and modern day conveniences that I feel entitled to and take for granted.
Thankful my BFF is coming home tomorrow. I love that man.
Thankful the Lord loves me on my best and my worst days. Thankful He knows all the ugliness of my heart and yet still chooses to love and pursue me.
Yeah I pretty much am a depraved stinkpot. Jesus I am desperate for you!!!
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