Sunday, November 13, 2016

Hello Africa My Old Friend

1. Hosted crappy dinner for Supper Club. Goes along wonderfully for no stress for the rest of the year. Was thinking it's about time to have a big ole group of neighbors over. They might not know and love us enough to come late but maybe people really do just want crappy dinner with people. Maybe it will be my new my experiment.

2. Think I have a better pulse on my Trump mania. Him winning has really thrown me off. These are the handles I have so far.
- I'm still really angry at the church. I'm not mad at the Church but I've always struggled with American Christianity off and on. I think the Right Wing Christian Conservative movement is the thing that has me grossed out this post election season. I think there are so many inconsistencies in the thinking and most of it becomes rules based rather than heart based. I hate to things into groups like that and I know that not all Right Wing conservatives are fundamentalist or hypocrites. There's just part of it that grosses me out and so I think that's what makes me feel like vomiting.

- There is part of me that thinks great we voted for Trump, he won now Christian credibility is forever destroyed. That's simply not true. I do think America is going to get who they voted for but Jesus is still on His throne. Maybe we needed this shake up to even see just how much hurt and pain is out there. I do think we are seeing the true hearts of men right now though in some ways. It's sad, but Jesus is much greater. So I realized part of my own despair over Trump is a lack of trusting the Lord. He is the one who placed Trump in his position. He is Sovereign and He is oh so good. People earnestly prayed over who to vote for. Although we can be stumbling blocks for so many reasons the Lord is still much bigger. If people are His there's nothing we can do to snatch His beloved out of His hands. So the fear and it is indeed fear that I'm bucking up against just isn't based on reality. Those who love Jesus will continue to be His hands and feet regardless of this election outcome.

-I think I've felt crazy the last several days because I had walked through Clinton winning. I had a great Peace about her becoming president. I just never thought Trump would actually win and so I didn't have the time and space to wrap my head about what I believe about it all. For whatever reason I need time and space to wrestle and figure out where I land on some of this stuff.

- I'm not generally a crier but man have I been weeping the last couple days. I think it's been a build up of being more aware of the pain and hurt of those around me.

3. My boy came up to me yesterday and told me that he'd love to go to Africa someday. I remembered that today as I was driving around running a few errands. Where did the girl go who wanted to move to Africa? Who wanted to move to South Dallas or somewhere inner city? That girl got wrapped up in suburbia land. There's nothing wrong with living in the suburbs and doing your thang for JC but how do I make this typical life look different than it does. How do I give my kids a glimpse into something outside themselves? I think it's time to start serving together as a family. We still have crazy littles but we also have bigger bigs. I want them to see a world they don't see everyday.

4. My poor hubs had a telling dream last night. I do think I can turn inwards when I'm really wrestling it out. I figured out today when I'm really trying to figure it out or get handles and I turn inward what I really need is extended quiet and time away with the Lord. He is good. He is kind. He is gentle. He calms the raging seas and lovingly whispers His truth.

5. Mulling on what it means to cut off your hand or gouge out your eye in light of temptation.

6. Whoops! Didn't hit send last night.


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