Sitting down in the kinda quiet and now realize I'm ready to pass out. Knocking out calendars for the rest of the year has been a whip today. It's going to be a crazy busy couple weeks. I don't do busy very well anymore. I'm not doing much well right now anyway. Let's just say if one of my kiddos hadn't found hidden toilet paper today then we'd be using socks for toilet paper tomorrow except that clean laundry is a rarity too. Our go to I'm out of groceries cereal is out too. Oy! Adulting is pretty hard for me. God bless the functional people in this world because if they were all like me we'd be so screwed.
The things I'm blaming my extra special functioning on.
1. Extra special fun low blood pressure. I know it's probably even lower than usual and I'm feeling every low degree of it.
2. I've been nauseous this week. What the truck!?! Yep, I might throw up here in a bit.
3. I STILL feel wiped from the two months of Election Plague.
4. With schooling comes more Bit the Tornado. She's lovely and I'm thankful I've chilled enough to not throw her across the sky but that girl is constantly destroying something. She's nonstop. It's like living with Ramona on speed. Everybody loves Ramona though. How can you not?!?!?
5. Adrenal Fatigue yeah but.... I need to get on that adrenal diet Hi but that requires my brain to work and the ability to plan and go to a grocery store. Bahahahahaha!!!! I really should just hibernate for five months. I'd do my family just as much good. I don't mean that in a self deprecating shameful fashion, more just like fact and more fact is that I can't do much to change it so I'm embracing it once more. Glad to be embracing it with less shame each time. Growing a human is no small feat. Worth it but not easy.
I was angry at my kids for multiple things today. Mainly they were just being kids but the coffee wasn't strong enough today. So if they get grace for being kids do I get grace for being a human parent? I know I do but man it's not easy. Thankful for moments of embraces and affection and laughter in the midst of all of our humanity.
Still much to process on the election. Not caring is so much easier though. Thankfully I didn't have energy to be worked up. I'm ready to not be worked up but more pondering, pondering, pondering.
Lots of pondering loosing saltiness and oh so much thinking to do on the fulfillment of the law.
I wonder if arrogance is what makes one loose its saltiness. Oh how I wish I could purge all the arrogance and urges to be arrogant out of me. It would be arrogant to think that I could ever accomplish such a feat.
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