Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Derailed

1. You know grief has a way of sucker punching you sometimes. It becomes less painful over time but it can still cause a zinger. Putting Baby Costa Rica's ornament up was one of those times but with much more sweetness to it. A How To Keep Your Child Safe From Sexual Abuse post on the FB delivered a gut punch. I could have checked off all those things. I've tried to be diligent about protecting our kids and yet sometimes that just isn't enough. There is no sweetness to this grief it feels mostly like a wave of nausea.

Every time the weather turns cold I half expect to see my kiddo's hands and feet to start peeling like crazy. Maybe everything was just a figment of my imagination. But no it was my child who drew pictures of tornadoes and a man with black eyes and whose hands and feet was evidence of the stress and anxiety no boy his age should have felt. I want to be consumed with rage but will choose to hand over justice to the Lord. It's oh so hard. But carrying around bitterness and rage is harder. I will choose to trust that the Lord will bring beauty from ashes to my child.

2. Yeah that's kind of enough for tonight. I feel this awful city closing in on me again. I know the grief sucker punches will not ever completely end but it would be great to move somewhere where a certain place is unknown. Double triple wonderful bonus for mountains and seasons and snow. I want SNOW!!!!

3. Perfectly timed.
The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. (1 John 3:8)

4. He is oh so good and such a mighty Prince of Peace and Comforter of my soul. Your rod and your staff comfort me.

D

Sent from my iPhone

No comments: