Friday, December 23, 2016

Parenthood Is Hard

1. Sometimes I think having a spy elf and the threat of Santa putting kids on the naughty list would be awesome. Like really really awesome. Like get chores done without much complaining or I'll threaten to tell Santa awesome. Oh the joys conditional present giving would bring! 

Thankfully Jesus does not operate like Santa Claus and even better does not parent like I do. It's a lot easier being hacked at my kids than having to flip the tables around and see just how damn selfish I AM. Grueling sanctification. I'm horrible at dying to self day in and day out and most days I choose not to do it. 

2. My lack of awesome parental performance tried to lead me down the "I'm stinking it up at life and ruining Advent" road. But a louder voice yelled and reminded me that Jesus is not Santa and if love was based on performance I would have lost it a long time ago. The beauty of Advent is that even thought I desperately need a Savior I don't deserve one YET Jesus came regardless. It's not about my performance. Jesus death on the cross removed the chains of the law and the sentence I deserved. Sweet precious beautiful Advent. Oh the joys, mysteries and wonder the day Jesus was born. 

3. Oh Montana you are once again singing your siren song. This time the sound might be all the sweeter as we've stuck it out and haven't run away. I do feel like Hamilton is drawing me in the same way Portland did a lifetime ago. I do hope the story ends better than Portland but regardless Montana keeps calling my name. I wish I could explain the deep desire to go there. It makes no sense and even lacks logic but I can't shake it. 

4. Thinking of friends and family whose hearts are grieving this Advent season. Lord may you truly bring them peace on earth. 

5. Love this.

O, how I pray for a breaking forth of the Spirit of God upon me and upon you; for the Holy Spirit to break into my experience in a frightening way, to wake me up to the unimaginable reality of God.

I tasted a tiny bit of the awe and wonder last Sunday with the most beautiful song. Oh the thought of heaven and singing with The Church in worship of the Great I AM


Sent from my iPhone

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