None but ourselves can free our mind....
Oy! Good trip down Bob Marley lane tonight. I'm so thankful to God for the gift of music.
I have fallen off the eat good wagon. Still maintaining my GF status but oh goodness dairy is just so darn good and Frying Pan is so very happy today in his or her calcium bath. Going to jump back on the train next Sunday. I'm sure I'll pay for this week but maybe some good ole fashion pain will be what I need to kick it back in gear.
Tonight proved that my oldest has been given the sinful tendencies of her mother. That girl! She's wonderful and amazing but she might have some hard lessons to learn like her Momma. She even thinks growing old is a lot like a nightmare. Somebody else might have thought the exact same in her foolish youth. All that to say, I have a feeling that adolescence and teenageville is going to be quite lovely and exhausting all at the same time.
And for the last bit of news for the day Montana is to be postponed till June. I'm bummed but also somewhat relieved. I don't expect things to go crazy smoothly trying to head out of town but with so many unknowns and funk going around it was just getting to be stressful and not normal get out of town stressful. MT is kinda miserable this time of year and I feel like the Goodyear Blimp. God is good and I trust that waiting will yield much more fruit. If anything going with an itty bitty will be easier than our 18 month old bruiser. That kid is a beast. If Frying Pan is a boy I fear this second grouping of Brown Boys could be wilder than the first round. At least I'll have three boys who have already been there and done that to sick on the younger ones.
Not an easy read. Hard to stay with it especially with heavy eye lids. Numbers five is just so bizarro. It's truly hard to figure why this jealousy offering even exists. Looking through the lens of my limited view of humanity it seems like it's more likely for the men to be the raging lust buckets. Even just thinking about the talks I heard early on about putting out every 72 hrs, staying fit and not looking like a slob because your hubs goes to work and sees all His put together co-workers blah blah blah. Ladies put some damn clothes on because you don't want to make your brothers stumble yada yada yada.
Frankly I don't get it and tonight to be honest it really pisses me off. The part of me with all the baggage wants to scream "God don't you get rape culture"?!?!? The reality is of course He does and it grieves Him deeply. I trust Him even when I don't fully understand. I'm thankful that He is a God who can deal with a sobbing daughter beating on His chest because she simply doesn't understand. He is patient, gentle and kind and doesn't grow weary of my questioning. Thankful I'm so incredibly loved.
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