Saturday, March 25, 2017

Sometimes You Just Don't Get What You Want

1. Up most of the night with my poor Bit. Hung in there till it felt like Help Bit and let hubs sleep or stay laying down and keep baby in started to complete. This morning feels very much like the two times I stayed laying in bed not ready to wrap my head around birthing my two youngest girls. This can only take me so far but as long as my water hasn't broken maybe I can do this for weeks. Doubtful but you never know. I am trying to be kind to myself over the fact that today in the sunlight I hate my circumstances right now and I want to kick and scream and writhe around like a wild angry brat.

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1. Stayed in bed almost all day.

2.My poor girl is struggling with anxiety big time but is too scared to come close enough to be comforted by anyone.

3.My oldest son stepped it up and took care of things and got what I needed as everyone survived off of tv and cereal.

4. My hubs didn't ended up working late so it was nice to have him home earlier. Tomorrow he was supposed to go in but looks like he can stay home and still gets paid. Whoop! Giving big thanks on both of those fronts.

5. Looked at my list of to do's and realized not a single one has been knocked off since puke Fest hit and operation keep baby inside started. I'm super bummed especially since I'm so incredibly exhausted from being up most of the night. But thankful Bitty finally stopped throwing up this afternoon. If she would have gone on much longer this evening might have looked a whole lot different.

6. Praying for rest and for some time to take care of some things before this baby comes. I know realistically all I need are some diapers, I have one pack!, but getting down the newborn stuff and washing it would bless me. Tackling the crazy clothing explosion all over our house and finishing up the little girls room and moving Noah's clothes too would also be self care. The thought of going through labor completely exhausted, fighting an upper respiratory bug in the middle of chaos doesn't sound awesome. Praying for provision and time because that's really all I can do.

7. Ugh! Bitty woke up crying probably from reflux and it got Bigs really wound up again. I want to kick anxiety in the face.

8. Benadryl, Jesus and bed. Please let the other little pass through the night throw up free. I might loose my mind. It's been a good week now of feverish kids moaning in the middle of the night.

D
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